2022.01.26 08:27 emmastudent This past year was a damn disaster and I am still not over how horrific it was
Ngl I have had a pretty rough upbringing. Almost every year since I was like 9 years old, something traumatic would happen. My dad getting on drugs, getting arrested, my brother becoming an addict, my uncle dying of an overdose. And somehow I just blocked it all out and focused on school. I got straight As, got into a major university and tried to just fight through the bs.
Then more bad shit happened. I was SA'd, became an alcoholic after that, had to leave school after attempting to off myself. Went back home, tried to get my life together, went to therapy, got on medications, and got sober. I powered through college, and then last April was accepted into the best graduate program in my state.
And now I am just sitting in bed thinking about how what was supposed to be a new start, an amazing year, somehow became the worst year of my entire life (after already going through a rough life lol).
First, I went through benzo withdrawals. I was given a prescription for klonopin and tried to get off of it and nearly lost my mind. This in itself made me worried about starting grad school. It took me months for my brain to recover and for me to feel normal again. Again, I just powered through it.
Then my 2 closest friends (twins) go into psychosis at the same time. It wasn't drug-induced, most likely genetics but no one really knows. This was so excruciating to go through. My best friend thought I was trying to kill her, thought I worked for the FBI, thought she could communicate with me telepathically. Then at times she barely remembered me. Her and her brother were an integral part of my life since I was 12 years old. Especially her. We were together every day for most of our lives. We went through everything together. And then to see her go completely crazy was horrific. So they are in psychosis and during this, I am supposed to move out and start grad school. Oh also, my other close friend who I grew up with- her mom passed away. So the day her mom passed went like this: I visited my best friend who was in psychosis, then made a drive over to my other friend's house to watch her mom's body be taken away to be cremated. And her mom was there for me a lot growing up too. She let me stay with them for thanksgiving when my family wasn't around, I was always at their house, she cooked me dinners and was an amazing woman. So seeing that was horrible.
I also had a boyfriend during this time. I was really in love with him. But also, so much was going on in my life that it was hard to have any kind of normal relationship. He ended up living in the city that I had to move to for grad school. I moved a month before school started and we spent every day together. He was the only person left in my life that I had as support. My friends were still crazy, and I was trying to support my other friend after her mom passed. So I didn't have anyone to go to but my boyfriend. He tried to be there for me, but he just didn't get what I was going through.
Grad school starts and I get a massive kidney infection. I was in and out of urgent care every week trying to get help. Every antibiotic they tried to give me did not work. I would stay up all night in excruciating pain, get up at 7am, go to class, throw up at school from the pain, and go home at 4pm in a daze. I saw so many doctors and none of them knew what to do because none of the antibiotics worked. This lasted for 2 months. At times I had to miss class because I was in so much pain. However, my school is super prestigious and did not take this lightly. They told me my grades would suffer and that I couldn't miss anymore.
Then my boyfriend breaks up with me during the week of my midterms. The kicker is that the day before our breakup, he said he thought about marrying me. The next day he ended things and his reasoning was vague. I was devastated. Confused. He would still text me after the breakup saying he still loves me and misses me....just dragging out the pain.
I eventually relapsed after being sober for 3 years. I started drinking again. Then I got the flu and was insanely sick. I had to miss school for a week (when I already couldn't miss more school). At some point during this, I became manic - if you don't know what that is, look it up. I went without sleep for 4 days, felt like I was on cocaine, and was acting crazy. When I showed up for class after being sick, I was still manic and was escorted from class to the student mental health center. My academic advisor told me I should take the year off but I refused. So she told me to just take the week off and come back the following week.
Also keep in mind, during all of this, I had straight A's. I got the highest grade in the class on our huge report. I was the first student accepted into a practicum site and was somehow excelling above other students. So I was not about to quit.
So while manic, I take a week off. Because of my mania, I spent over two thousand dollars and some of that money was spent on front row tickets to a concert. I go to this concert (it was on a Friday I was supposed to be going back to school on Monday). Sunday I woke up feeling kind of sick. I get COVID tested, and DING DING DING it's positive.
So being COVID positive meant I would have to miss 14 days of school. Even though I could do all of the work from home, a huge portion of our grade was in-class participation. So missing 2 weeks meant my grades would drop substantially. It was at this point I emailed my advisor to tell her I would be withdrawing from the semester. All of the work I put in, gone. For nothing.
But that wasn't the worst of it. I got so sick I was hospitalized for COVID. I have a heart condition so the doctors thought my best option was to be given this experimental drug to fight COVID. I get the drug. I eventually get released from the hospital. I was so sick I was hallucinating and didn't think I would make it.
Took me about 2 full weeks until I felt normal again. Flash forward, I got the flu and COVID again. This time, I had some immunity but I was still really sick.
My friends eventually came out of psychosis but things haven't been the same since. I don't see them as much since starting grad school. There's a big disconnect because we all went through really horrible things while being apart...and there's just this weird space between us.
Now it is the new year. I am back in school. I am really trying my best. I started going to the gym every day, trying to focus on myself. But I feel lonely at times. I feel traumatized from this year. And I cannot fathom wtf my life has become.
I finally feel ready to start dating again but I feel like no one will understand me, or my life or experiences. So that also sucks. Like how tf do I explain this to anyone?! And why would they stick around knowing what a weird/messed-up life I have had?
I just wrote this because I needed to get it out. I am still trying to process what has occurred. I felt like I lived 10 years in just 1.
submitted by emmastudent to Vent [link] [comments]
2022.01.26 08:27 Durangal New Player needs tips
Hey i started to play now for 9 Days or so and really like this game but i wonder what would be the best combos with this dolls. In story i often use Catherine in Front, Cynetia in the middle and Inn & Lou in the back. Do you have anytips i have atm problems in the story Chapter 4-8.
submitted by Durangal to RevivedWitch [link] [comments]
2022.01.26 08:27 MadMan1244567 I have so many questions…
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2022.01.26 08:27 JrDovah Looking for micro influeners
2022.01.26 08:27 OpinionatedByFacts I don’t know what y’all are complaining about. I f*ckin love this game.
Title says it all. I’m having a blast playing this game. It is so fun and gorgeous. Are y’all playin on old gen or something? Having a hard time comprehending why everyone hates this. You guys cry about it so much they’re not gonna keep makin games like this anymore. I had to wait how many years for a futuristic battlefield since 2142 came out? because you all cried about that one too! They are 100% going to bring back microtransactions cuz of you babies. Fuck. This game is awesome. Stop cryin. I love flying squirrel suits, wall running and jet packs. You must suck at the game. That must be it.
End rant. And there goes all my karma
submitted by OpinionatedByFacts to battlefield2042 [link] [comments]
2022.01.26 08:27 glorifica what is the point of the round movable button with 2 arrows? why is it here? how do i get rid of it? it annoys me to no end.
2022.01.26 08:27 MrTraxel Should they revamp the Russian destroyer lines again?
Currently, the Khabarovsk is getting the Moskva treatment, and is getting replaced by the Delny. However, both lines are generally a mess. If you want to grind Grozovoi, it goes like this: Low tier | Podvoisky (fast and lacks stealth) | Gnevny (Normal-ish) | Minsk (fast and lacks stealth) | Ognevoi (Normal-ish) | Udaloi (fast and lacks stealth) | Grozovoi (Normal-ish)
It switches play style constantly throughout the line and is really inconsistent. Wouldn’t it work better something like this:
Fast line| Normal Line
Storozhevoi | Tier III Derzki | Tier IV Izyaslav----------- | Tier V | Podvoisky Gnevny | Tier VI | Minsk Silny | Tier VII | Kiev Ognevoi | Tier VIII | Udaloi Smely | Tier IX | Tashkent Spokoiny | Tier X | Delny Grozovoi | * Zorkiy
2022.01.26 08:27 hridoy104 pafdao
I believe that project is an amazing project that will help the computer owners to pay up customers by renting out their unused. #dao #pafdao #bitcoin #crypto https://www.pafdao.com
submitted by hridoy104 to crypto_Stake [link] [comments]
2022.01.26 08:27 JFSoul Crofton Cherry Blossom Festival (March 26, 2022, 11:00 AM - 2:00 PM)
Crofton Cherry Blossom Festival
March 26, 2022, 11:00 AM -2:00 PM,
The CCA and Living in the Triangle magazine will host the first Cherry Blossom Festival which will feature stations located around Crofton Parkway with food trucks, music, activities, and things to learn.
Walking and biking the Parkway is encouraged to enjoy Crofton's amazing cherry blossoms.
There will be a community yard sale section sponsored by Crofton Kiwanis.
This event is rain or shine. If significant weather is expected the event will be cancelled.
Notifications of cancellation will be posted to Croftoncommunity.org and the CCA community Listserv.
submitted by JFSoul to crofton_md [link] [comments]
2022.01.26 08:27 optionhome The perpetual victims that blame you for not protecting them
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2022.01.26 08:27 Warm_Worker_8805 @r/diving_2021
2022.01.26 08:27 heavyluther this was funny i think
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2022.01.26 08:27 MildestKicks $XELA UP 30%+ Pre Market - Share Buy Back + Contract Renewal
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2022.01.26 08:27 CreepingPawn Ausgewogenes ETF-Portfolio
ich habe mal versucht, ein ausgewogenes, gut diversifiziertes Portfolio mit Schwerpunkten auf zyklischen Konsumgütern und Value-Aktien zu erstellen. Der Anlagehorizont beträgt 4-9 Jahre; beim MSCI ASCWI ggf. länger.
Was haltet Ihr davon? Fallen Small Caps ins Gewicht?
submitted by CreepingPawn to Finanzen [link] [comments]
2022.01.26 08:27 MihuChan Issue with AM Turnip prices
Hello, and sorry for a pointless post, but I have a kind of a small issue regarding the morning Turnip prices...
You see, I go to work before 8 AM and am usually not home until 12 PM, so most times it's impossible for me to check the morning prices for Turnips. I ran my prices so far into a turnip calculator and according to that I am going to have my turnips peak tomorrow morning, so I'd like to know if there's something I can do about that. I've thought about using the ordinances but am kind of unsure if it's going to work. Any advice?
Thank you in advance!
submitted by MihuChan to AnimalCrossing [link] [comments]
2022.01.26 08:27 mcdreammy What's something you'd deliberately lie about from your girlfriend?
2022.01.26 08:27 pavroo CalyptOS
2022.01.26 08:27 AnkitaRaut13 Filipino Crackers Asmr|6 different flavors|Asmr Philippines|eating sounds
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2022.01.26 08:27 SalmonSushi_ WHITELISTING THE NEXT 300 PEOPLE TO JOIN DORKIE.WTF DISCORD | Link in comment
|submitted by SalmonSushi_ to opensea [link] [comments]|
2022.01.26 08:27 delicious_turtles Does anyone know an SVG interaction UI library that works directly with the SVG DOM?
So what I'm looking for is basically the functionality provided by Paper.js seen in examples such as this one: http://paperjs.org/examples/hit-testing/
Basically a framework allowing users to interact with SVG elements and manipulate them with little handles, as they might be used to from software like Illustrator or Photoshop. I don't actually need this full path control tool that paper.js has here, just a bounding box with handles to resize, move and rotate is enough.
In my project however I am using variable typefaces, so I can't use paper.js or fabric.js or anything that renders to canvas, I need to actually use the SVG DOM. I'm happy to implement those interaction tools myself, however I was just wondering if something like this was already available as a package/library, because it seems like a fairly common use case.
Is anyone aware of any such library?
I am also aware of SVGEdit (https://svgedit.netlify.app/editoindex.html) which is a full SVG editor that seems to interact directly with the SVG DOM and has those exact interaction systems I'd need, however I'm not sure if digging through the source code of this and trying to extract what I need and factoring it into my react/typescript project would actually be easier than just doing it from scratch myself, a self contained library I could use would be ideal.
submitted by delicious_turtles to webdev [link] [comments]
2022.01.26 08:27 Nal_rAinbow Trying again - Mega Aerodactyl! 3474 6055 9098 (EiceVII). - be online!
2022.01.26 08:27 solarus44 My grandfather's kukris from his time as a British Captain in a British/Gurkha Regiment
2022.01.26 08:27 AccWithNoName Where would you rather live?
2022.01.26 08:27 SimeonDun Какво ще стане ако Русия се разпадне.Анализ на Caspian report.
2022.01.26 08:27 rr12117 Part one of ? on how far I can take this template.
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