Internal project bad for newly hired consultants?

2022.01.21 10:26 yellowduveta Internal project bad for newly hired consultants?

Last year in August, I started working at a T2 consulting firm at their lowest rank (consultant). My first project was helping HR with recruiting and automatizing their internal processes. I surpassed my goal, and recruited more candidates than anyone in the past five year, while giving proposals to the devs about processes to automatize.
Evidently, my project manager is very happy with me.
Now, my boss (reporting manager) comes from MBB and started the same month as me as a VP. He told me during our first call that doing internal project is not something us consultant should do. I am here to help our external clients, not to do internal tasks. It will impede my growth within the firm.
This evidenly made me anxious, but I had promised to do this recruiting process until end of January, which I did.
Today I got called by the person who staffs you on project. He told me that the he is aware that my project ends in a week. He said that my project manager reached out to him, and would like me to continue working under her for additional six months. This times it would be about employer branding, strategic positioning of the firm, etc (he's indirectly trying to tell me that I won't be doing the unstimulating task of writing name of schools and candidates in a Excel sheet -- which is my current job).
I learned from this sub that successful consultants know how to say "no". Thus, I did not agree to her at once, instead I asked for some time. She said I need to decide by the latest on Monday.
I am going to write to my boss and ask, and I know that he will be furious if I told him I am continuing in an internal project for additional six months. He said that he wanted me to support his/our team. Not HR.
It is noteworthy that during the promotion roundtables, the HR will look at your score given by your project manager, which weights 90%, and 10% is how much you helped the company with side activities. Hence, from my understand, it doesn't matter what my boss thinks. It is the rating given by my project manager that should be relevant for my promotion.
Can someone more experienced than me give me some advice on how to proceed? I have a few questions:

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2022.01.21 10:26 SadBinch420 I am a late-diagnosed autistic female. 24. After a bad situation, I got into s*x work, and now I feel really lost and stuck. Sorry, this is a long one….

Before you judge too harshly, please allow me to give a bit of context. I apologize for the lengthyness, but I do feel it’s all important context.
I will spare details, but my biological parents died when I was still a small child. My caregivers raised me most of my life, but from 15 onwards I was basically taking care of myself. At 15, one of my caregivers (my father figure) passed away. This had a pretty significant impact on me. My remaining caregiver (mother figure) was quite old at this point, and a combination of severe depression and age-related ailments left her mostly unable to care for me. She spent most days in bed. By 17, I would say I was more her caregiver than she was mine.
Now, of course my autism had always been there. I’ve always had the symptoms, but given my childhood circumstances and the fact my caregivers were uneducated about these things, I have gone without support my entire life. Everything was shrugged off as me being a difficult child.
I STRUGGLED in high school. Severely. I could not attend a public school, as I was too sensitive, anxious and an easy target for bullying. I instead attended a special school which (coincidentally) had many other Neurodivergent students. This school allowed me to do most of my work at home, on my own time, within a certain time window. Given my issues with executive dysfunction, this was a nightmare in its own way. There was not a single week that all of my HW didn’t pile up until literally last minute, at which point I would try to finish it in a panic while crying and depriving myself of sleep. I had daily meltdowns at this point in my life. I still believe I only graduated because of sympathy from my teachers.
In addition, from 15-19 I was in a relationship with an abusive older (adult) man. He made my life total chaos at the time, but I was “in love” with him and for some reason I let him use and abuse me. Looking back, I think I just liked that he would sometimes “parent” or control me. He would often yell at me, call me autistic/r-word, force me to make eye contact during s*x, kick me off the bed, pour drinks on me…. the list goes on.
At 19, I finally got out of that relationship but immediately made the mistake of going into another. This was another long relationship with someone I thought I would marry, but I feel my (then undiagnosed) autism made things extremely difficult. I had great difficulty adapting to the adult lifestyle that my partner wanted me to have.
At one point, because of my lack of work experience, my partner helped me get a job that required a pretty minimal amount of human interaction. However, certain aspects of the job I still found very distressing. I always ate lunch alone. I was finding myself crying nearly every day. I had difficulties keeping up with the schedule so I would make little mistakes and get scolded. I was never able to say “no” to my employer, so I became known as the one to go to for everything. Whenever my coworkers decided to call off, I was always the go-to fill-in. I even stayed past my regular hours on several occasions to make up for others work. Sometimes, my coworkers would text me and ask if I could fill in for them even though they never talked to me outside of that. I have difficulties standing up for myself, so everything just piled on as I became more and more overwhelmed inside.
At home, I would shut down every day. I would cry and cry and not be able to talk. I was having frequent sucdal thoughts. My partner would get frustrated not knowing what to do.
I quit the job eventually, after a lot of internal struggle.
I had brought up my ADHD and the possibility of autism to my partner on several occasions, but they always brushed it off. They had this idea that autism was only valid if it was like the “Rain Man” stereotype, or only the most severe cases. They basically convinced me I couldn’t have it, so I didn’t seek out help any further.
Eventually, at about the age of 22, I broke the relationship off and went back to living with my mother figure. While I was gone, she was cared for by another family member that I don’t get along with- in exchange for her giving them a place to stay.
At this point, I don’t have a dollar to my name. I knew I needed to start saving money. I tried for several months to get a job, any job, I applied for literally anything and everything. I assume because of my lackluster resume, I rarely ever heard back even from fast food places. I landed 1 interview once, but I think I completely blew it because I was extremely nervous, and it was probably obvious. After that, I worked a couple under-table jobs but they barely paid anything despite being very hard work. There was a point I had to ask a friend to buy tampons for me, and I was just humiliated.
This… is around the time I discovered (online) s*x work. A few people online had suggested it to me, said I would be perfect for it and that I would “make bank.” Now, I wouldn’t consider myself a prudish person by any means, but i’m also very private, and bordering on asexual most of the time. However, on the other hand I’ve been masking my whole life, and my acting skills are pretty good when they need to be. I convinced myself that if I made this gig into just another persona, I could dissociate myself from it enough to just tolerate it and ultimately use it as a means to an end.
My end goal was to save up enough money to sustain myself for a while, get a proper diagnosis, and then attend college.
I moved in with an acquaintance and began grinding at this new job.
The first thing I got with my new money was my diagnosis. It took a while, and cost 2k, but I did it and I am both relieved but also quite saddened. It’s been a lot of self discovery and just a lot of information to process.
But back to the original point of the post… I do not enjoy my new job. The only benefit is that I am able to be my own boss and work on my own schedule which helps me to keep meltdowns at bay, or at least when they do happen I have time to recuperate. However, I am constantly feeling down on my body which I am forced to look at all the time. I have to act sexual even when I’m not feeling it, which I hate. I have to wear uncomfortable “sexy” outfits all the time that are sensory hell. I have conversations going with over a hundred men, which is extremely stressful to keep up with. I get so much hate directed towards me for the work that I am in, I’ve had people message me to tell me they want me dead. I do not even make a significant amount of money, just about minimum wage… but that’s a lot in comparison to where I was before.
Now things have become even more complicated. A few months back my “mother” suffered a fall and seemingly suffered a stroke as well as a bad fracture which has left her completely bedridden. Because my other family members are completely useless, I had to step up and start taking care of her even more. I had to change her diapers, figure out how to bathe her etc etc… This is not an enjoyable experience to have to perform on what is supposed to be your own parent.
What’s more, I payed for necessary medical equipment to make things easier for her. This was not inexpensive but my other family was not in a position to help. I then also helped to pay for her physical therapy as well as an in-home nurse for a while. Anyway, this whole thing has put a significant dent in my savings, as well as my mental health.
I have been severely depressed following these events. I’m so sick of my job, I feel disgusting all the time, I’m barely making enough to scrape by, but I don’t know what else to do. I have to pay my rent and I have to buy food. I don’t have any support. I’m nearly 25 with basically no real work experience and a huge gap in my resume. I’m autistic of course, so I know that my options for work are also limited in that regard. I just want to finally attend college and start doing something meaningful with my life that I actually enjoy, but I don’t know where to go from here.
I’m just… feeling really hopeless right now, and more than anything I would appreciate some kind words. I feel so hated all the time because I’m constantly seeing people talk about what terrible people s*x workers are.
If you made it this far, thank you… I just needed to get it out somewhere. I don’t really have any friends, at least not anyone I can talk to about these things. I feel very scared and alone. I wish I had a mother or father to talk to or just hold me. I don’t know. That’s pretty much all I have to say. Thanks again.
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2022.01.21 10:26 OmegaMordred What ASML Has Next After EUV

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2022.01.21 10:26 SolCapsa Marketing Diretor

Hey all,
I am CEO and founder of a clean energy powered data storage solution for enterprise level clients. We are currently looking for someone to help with a facelift on the website, and maybe a little polishing of the overall brand.
We are looking for someone who believes in the project and the vision, and are willing to do the work for equity in the company (eventually translating to a real pay check in the near future once the funds are available).
My question is this: What are your alls experiences with an equity only deal, how much success have you had with this approach, and how much equity did you give up?

Thanks again for any input/ advice
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