Join link its 4 days left before its finish

2022.01.27 14:18 NFTSAFE Join link its 4 days left before its finish
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2022.01.27 14:18 im_an_angry_flower I had a sex dream about my rapist and now I can’t stop thinking about having sex with him. WTF is wrong with me?

For context, my assault happened decades ago. I’ve been sexually assaulted before and after but never raped.
Also, it was kind of a gray situation (or so I thought). I lived in denial for years and blamed myself all this time. I was drunk, I was suicidal and I didn’t wanna die a virgin. I went to a party and I knew this guy liked me so I hung out with him. He asked if I wanted to go to a more private area and I said yes.
We made out but when he started to try and undress me I changed my mind. I said I didn’t wanna do it, but I was too drunk to assert myself. Basically, he convince-pressured me into having sex and it was the worst experience in my life.
It was my first time and his first time. He was drunk too, although not as drunk as me. And he was the kind of guy that apparently learned all things sex from porn movies so you can imagine how terrible and painful it was.
When I got home I took a shower and cried. I didn’t carry out my suicide plans though, so I guess I have to thank him for that?
Anyway, it didn’t occurred to me it was rape, it just didn’t feel right. And I rationalized it as “well if a guy wants to have sex with me it means he cares about me” BOY was I wrong and OH BOY it took me so long to figure out that’s not necessarily the case.
The worst part is, I had consensual sex with him again. And I still felt terrible, dirty and worthless. I stopped hanging out with him as much as I could, which was hard because he’s my best friend’s cousin so he was always there.
At some point I directed my anger and self hatred towards him, indirectly. I’d be cold and distant and I’d just look at him with disgust. I one time he got drunk and came at me saying we could have been together but I pushed him away.
So obviously our experiences and points of view were complete opposite.
My best friend moved and he was the glue between me and every other social connection so with him gone I stopped hanging out with the old “gang”.
I should also say that I was diagnosed with dystimia when I was 25 or si but I didn’t believe it. It took another 10 years and a few major depressive episodes and a couple of nervous breakdowns to accept I have a disease. I had a history of starting medication and stopping once I felt better (dangerous, I know) but this time I stuck with the treatment because something else triggered buried trauma. So at some point in the last five years I was severely depressed, agoraphobic, anxious and paranoid. I couldn’t sleep and I was just about at the end of my rope.
Anyway, I’ve been going to therapy and finally last year I started to talk about sexual abuse and the effect it has had on me (like for instance, I purposely make myself look as unattractive as I can so I don’t get groped or harassed). And I discussed the rape with my therapist. She said I was 100% unequivocally raped and it wasn’t my fault. And that it could also be true that this guy didn’t have to be a monster or a serial rapist in order to do so.
I also told my best friend but I left out the part about the rapist being his cousin because I know he would cut him out of his life and I don’t know if I want that.
I had a delayed trauma response to the rape, because after I talked about it in therapy at first I felt like a weight was lifted but was the days passed I started to feel the heaviness of what happened and that I had finally aceptes I had been raped. Even though I kept telling myself I wasn’t myself and I wasn’t a victim I fell into a deep depression despite being on medication. For a month I could hardly get out of bed, I had nightmares and was constantly triggered. My psychiatrist doubled the dose for my antidepressant and anti anxiety meds.
I thought I was done with all that, until this year I had this dream where I had sex with him and enjoyed it. And now I can’t stop thinking about it but it also makes me angry. Like I want to hate fuck him or dominate him as a form of making him feel the way he made me feel?
I though about confront him last year but I didn’t think that would be a good idea. And I don’t want to denounce him publicly because he’s married and has a child and as far as I know he’s not a sexual predator so I may have been his only victim?
I’m very confused and my therapist is not available due to the latest COVID wave and she doesn’t do virtual calls because it’s a public funded clinic.
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2022.01.27 14:18 Zekrom8989 What is your favorite and least favorite motive in any of the games?

My favorite has to probably be the motive videos from V3 chapter 2 due to its unique twist of the motive from the first chapter of DR1 and creates more tension as they debate whether they should swap their motive videos or not.
My least favorite is the Necronomicon/Transfer Student motive in chapter 3 of the same game. I know people would say that the Despair Disease from DR2 chapter 3 is even worse and I agree that it sucks, but at least that had an impact on the culprit's crime in that case.
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2022.01.27 14:18 Competitive-Bet-5205 BTD

BTD submitted by Competitive-Bet-5205 to Wallstreetsilver [link] [comments]

2022.01.27 14:18 hawkmech67 Electrical box question

I'm not an electrician. I have some wires in my attic where some security cameras were tied into a switch and where bathroom exhaust fans were installed. They connections are tied together with wire nuts. For safety reasons, I'd rather have those connections inside electrical boxes. Are there electrical boxes designed to just go around the connections or am I forced to disconnect the wires, feed them into a box and reconnect them?
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2022.01.27 14:18 BlueSantiago If you wanna beat your hight insecurity read this

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2022.01.27 14:18 lallyyy ArcheAge Unchained Optimized Graphic Settings Guide?

Hi guys,
Using all low but feel like the game can run better than it's doing. Somehow FPS is locked at 144 despite having vsync disables in nvidia and ingame, any way to unlock it? Anyone tried messing with the files and configs?
Also looking for recommendations to get the game running smooth as possible and not lose visibility and competitive advantages.
Advise please.
submitted by lallyyy to archeage [link] [comments]

2022.01.27 14:18 alphaomega_2021 Has the majority sold ? NO. The EVIDENCE during the highly anticipated earnings call the first week of March, will once again prove retail conviction. It will once again show that that retail and instutuons have increased overtime.

You don't have to believe retards on social media, look at the buy sell ratios over time, instutional ownership and retail ownership. It no way in hell can those numbers suggest that the stock should drop 100%.
Subreddits increased over time
Social media mentions increased over time
Clicks on Google increased over time
Short positions increased
Buy ratio has always been higher then sell by a big margin
The first week of March the evidence once again will be blasted.
Insider selling is a TINY fraction of the entire float and can NOT way ever justify a 100% price drop.
Insulators have also increased, yes some loan out the shares but for every share loaned THEY still OWN in.
submitted by alphaomega_2021 to amcstock [link] [comments]

2022.01.27 14:18 East_Host_3681 Had to say goodbye to my cat today he was 15 years old i’m miss him

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2022.01.27 14:18 joniroxanne A little help with upgrading

Hello there guys. 🖖

A while back, I've begun thinking about upgrading certain bits of my PC, just so I am able to play some newer games; in other words, and at the very least, that my PC meets their minimum system requirements.
Games such as the two new Assassin's Creed games (Odyssey and Valhalla) and the new Final Fantasy VII remake.
Anyway, courtesy of a program called Speccy, here's the summary of my PC's current specs:

CPU Intel Pentium G4560 @ 3,5 GHz (Kaby Lake 14nm Technology)
RAM 8 GB Dual-Channel @ 1196 MHz
Motherboard ASUSTek COMPUTER INC. H110M-R (LGA 1151)
Storage ~1TB HDD Western Digital WDC
I know, it's (beyond) shameful to have a Pentium CPU today...

Which of these should I upgrade, and which upgrades do you recommend?
submitted by joniroxanne to buildapc [link] [comments]

2022.01.27 14:18 inlineskates_twice Ex-boyfriend bullies me at work

Me (23) and my ex (33) dated for about a month. He's a coworker of mine and we started having feelings for each other a month or two into working together. We broke up and got back together a few times, mainly because I wanted to take it slow and he wanted a lot more, fast. He got offended when I didn't want to rush into things like introducing him to my parents, inviting him to a get-together of my dance group or kissing at work.
The last time we broke up, it felt like it was for good. However, after going back to his home country for the holidays, he got covid and I got worried, so we started talking again.
We agreed to talk, but he started getting upset when I don't pick up or if we don't talk for long, so I withdrew a little bit. He started getting passive-aggressive, saying things like "I guess we'll talk on February 31st" etc., which pissed me off and I decided to stop responding to him (I now realize I should have handled things differently, but I was too tired from life at the moment and I just wanted the stress to stop).
I then did something that's admittedly very stupid - I downloaded tinder. A few hours after I did that, he messaged me, telling me that he saw my profile. I saw his profile too, so I know that he's been swiping as well. When I asked him why he's trying to make me feel guilty for being on tinder when he himself is using it as well, he replied: "I was getting tired of this non-existent relationship".
After that he blocked me on social media. He came to work a few days after that and started bullying me, at first subtly, now - to the point where I get out to cry. He pretends he doesn't hear me, talks bad about me to his colleague who's from the same country (I can't speak their language but I can understand enough words to get a basic idea of what he's saying, basically calling me dramatic and accusing me of slacking); flirts with our female colleague (not bullying but definitely not pleasant) and so on.
What do I do in this situation? I asked him a few times if we could talk, but he's giving me the silent treatment.
submitted by inlineskates_twice to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2022.01.27 14:18 parenthetical_phrase Blessed are the Sleestak Children

Blessed are the Sleestak Children submitted by parenthetical_phrase to Weird [link] [comments]

2022.01.27 14:18 Nyhn Logitech GPX Clone! Xenics Titan GV Air Wireless 3370 Now available for preorder!

Logitech GPX Clone! Xenics Titan GV Air Wireless 3370 Now available for preorder! submitted by Nyhn to MouseReview [link] [comments]

2022.01.27 14:18 SlapChopMyShamWow His face gets stuck like this at least three times a day

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2022.01.27 14:18 BCHTOMOON Free NFT - UPVOTE !

Free NFT - UPVOTE ! submitted by BCHTOMOON to NFTsMarketplace [link] [comments]

2022.01.27 14:18 secludedloaf a reminder for the weeks to come

a reminder for the weeks to come submitted by secludedloaf to WestSubEver [link] [comments]

2022.01.27 14:18 PhilipsJohansson Ambitious new learner looking for tips.

Ambitious new learner looking for tips. Hey everyone!
I recently took the step in learning Mandarin, after wanting to do so for a long time. My long term goals are being able to have fluid conversations, being able to read books and listen to podcasts, news and so on.
I'm a teacher (numerous subjects, English and Swedish are the languages I teach). I've been "preparing" to study for about a week or two, gathering resources and tools. I started studying earlier this week. This is my current routine:
I wake up early to sit down with Anki and go through my deck for the day. Thereafter I do a chapter in HSK1, or repeat the chapter I went through recently. I wrote down notes and tips in one book, practice Chinese characters in another and finally do calligraphy of the "word of the day" in a different little book.
After this process, I do a lot of immersion learning - listening passively to podcasts, music, conversations between native speakers.
I log all of this in into "Clockify", to see how well I spend my time with each thing on a daily basis.
I'd love any and all tips about learning the language, be it material, ways to study or perhaps picking up a study buddy! If you need any help with English or Swedish I'll gladly help.
Thanks in advance!
P.S. Attached two photos to show my notetaking and calligraphy - maybe funny to see?..


Stroke-patterns feels like it'll take a while before I master.
submitted by PhilipsJohansson to ChineseLanguage [link] [comments]

2022.01.27 14:18 Yourdaddy42069 What do I buy?

Darksiders 2, The Force Unleashed 2, MGRR, or The Arkham collection. Played all but Darksiders but I love gunfire games. If I but the Arkham games in mainly playing city. Forced unleashed is more about nostalgia and MGRR is the safest bet.
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2022.01.27 14:18 BlackRussianTV Hodlers gonna hodl. As Bitcoin dips below $33,000, coins dormant for ...

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2022.01.27 14:18 Puzzleheaded-Fan6472 Urgent answer plz. Exam in 2 days.

Which report analysis is more reliable in improving the weakness. Uwsa 2 or nbme 29?
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2022.01.27 14:18 superUser303 Yui 😍🐾🧡🧡

Yui 😍🐾🧡🧡 submitted by superUser303 to Yahallo [link] [comments]

2022.01.27 14:18 MrLolo20178 [Recruiting] BD NIGHT HERO | TH8 REQUIRED | Clan Level 13 | Crystal III | War/CWL/CG

We are recruiting members, feel free to join, clan its public now, we are only a few members right now.
Discord: (Just made it in-case you wanna contact me, no channels yet, only defautl one lol)
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2022.01.27 14:18 Next-Cell Greasy Runtz

Greasy Runtz submitted by Next-Cell to Cannabis_Culture [link] [comments]

2022.01.27 14:18 Alskvard I feel like I've been numb all my life, and I don't know why

Two days ago my uncle passed away. He was my godfather.
I know I was dear to him, but for some reason I've never felt close to him. Was it because he lived on the other side of a country? That we've seen each other only a few times a year? I don't know..
News about him passing weren't a surprise. He was fighting cancer. He fought hard and as long as he could. And so, surrounded by family he passed away.
And me? I don't think I've felt anything. The same morning I've facetimed my mom, and just then, for a little while, felt sad. I don't know if it's just because I've seen my mom sad and grieving, or was it just because of the fact, that my dear grandmother was alone in another room crying. Thoughts of my mum and grandmother suffering through this.. Hurts my heart like nothing else. So why don't I feel the same about my uncle? He loved me like his own daughter since I could remember. Always asking about me, always caring..
I feel so ungrateful.. I have never deserved anything from him. Nothing. I feel like I gave no love in return.
I'm sure my family thinks that I don't care about anything. I don't blame them. I never give anything. Only take. I feel sad when someone doesn't think about me, but at the same time I don't think about them as often as I should. Everything is fine and good if nothing is happening in our family lives, but when something bad does happen I escape and bury my head in the sand. Can't offer comfort or good word to anyone, I don't know how to do it, so usually I just don't do it at all. I just wait for things to be ''normal'' again with shame.
My mom loves me unconditionally, but I feel like sometimes she wishes to tell me what I'm doing wrong and why. I can see the disappointment in her eyes when I'm not doing something I should be doing. Like offering comfort to my cousins after losing a father. She's biting her tongue, as to not to offend me, cause she thinks I'd run away and would stopped talking to her for a while. Truth hurts me and I don't know how to deal with it.
I can't act like an adult. I miss being a child and not caring about anything. Everything was so simple back then, and I'm sure it's just because I couldn't understand a thing that was happening around me. Just a kid being a kid. Innocent.
Today I'm nearly 30 years old and I do understand a lot of things. But I don't know how to deal with them. I don't know how to behave when there's a tragedy. All I do when it happens is wondering how I should deal with this, without actually doing anything. I feel like it's all about me thinking about me in my head.
I think my family will stop communicate with me in the next 10 years and it will be no ones fault but mine. I love my family but my words feel empty when I don't know how to express it.

English is not my first language. I hope it makes at least a little sense.
Thanks for reading.
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2022.01.27 14:18 notruthinadvertising Just finished the Infernal Enrapturess; working through my Slaanesh demons.

Just finished the Infernal Enrapturess; working through my Slaanesh demons. submitted by notruthinadvertising to Warhammer40k [link] [comments]