2022.01.16 18:28 amaya_kaori7 anyone want some-
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2022.01.16 18:28 babyxcar Selling Courtside Nuggets tickets
2022.01.16 18:28 Modern-Moo Foley chomping on my hand
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2022.01.16 18:28 throwra-wheeze I’m relieved my toxic friendship is coming to an end but I’m afraid this will hinder the rest of my relationships
Sorry it’s long, I feel all over the place right now, but I tried to include only what’s necessary.
I (16F) have been friends with Cat (16F) for almost 5 years now. For anonymity, I’ve changed her name. We became friends in middle school but didn’t actually grow closer until last year, when she joined my sports team.
From then until recently, we were inseparable. However, starting last September, I started to notice real problems in our friendship. She never listened to me. Whether it be something like an anecdote or huge news in my life, I noticed she never listened. Often, she would brush off what I had to say and begin talking about her life. It made me feel like she didn’t value what I had to say, so I eventually stopped telling her things and it didn’t really make a difference.
In October, we talked about it and things felt like they were getting better. However, October was when things were really starting to get rocky. In August, Cat started dating my best friend who I’ll call George (16M). I had been friends with George since fourth grade, so naturally, I was closer with him than with Cat. This didn’t cause any problems between us and we had a perfectly normal friend group. Anyways, in October she started telling me she missed her ex boyfriend and plenty of other things about her having doubts about the relationship (many were related to not being compatible or wanting to go out with others). I told her to talk to him about it and break up with him because it was the right thing to do. She talked to our other friend about it and he gave her the same advice, but she never did.
In October, I was also interested in and talking to a guy named Aaron (17M). Cat knew and she had no interest in him. However, at a Halloween party, I saw her flirting and dancing with him and I saw the way they interacted with each other. If it helps, they were also completely sober. It hurt. A lot. To be honest, it still hurts. My feelings for Aaron went away not long after that, but how she acted when she knew I liked him and things were going well hurt me. At this time, she was still dating George and he had no idea how she really felt about their relationship because she never talked to him about any of it like I advised.
On Halloween, I saw George and decided to tell him the things she told me and how she acted at the party. I figured that if my partner talked about wanting to see other people and flirted with others and my best friend knew, I would feel worse if my friend kept it from me than if they told me the truth. George appreciated it and broke up with Cat. I was still hurt over what happened and needed space from her, which I tried to communicate. However, she wasn’t very respectful of my need for space and constantly texted me saying we needed to talk and even told our mutual friends that I was ignoring her for no reason. Then our friend group turned on me (I hadn’t told them my side of the story) and I had the impression they felt I was tearing our group apart all because I wanted space from someone who hurt me. To make matters worse, George and Cat got back together within a few days and George, knowing everything, even told me I needed to talk to her.
We eventually made up because I reached out but it left a scar on our friendship. Then, I started noticing things which made me regret not breaking things off earlier. She was a compulsive liar. She often lied about trivial things, mostly about herself. I remember she even told a mutual friend she was getting a D1 scholarship for our sport I knew was a complete lie. Two years ago, I remember she lied about moving to another country (I found the texts recently) and when someone made a joke about it she came up with another lie to cover herself and make the other person feel like they remembered wrong (they didn’t, as the screenshots I found proved it). As I noticed this, I started to doubt the things she said. I don’t really understand why she lies so much, but it really bugged me how easily every lie would slip off her tongue and made me wonder what she had been lying to me about.
In recent weeks, I started noticing a pattern. We would have a conflict, then I would need a little time to think it over (I don’t like addressing conflict immediately because I feel like I need to approach things with nuance and trying to solve things when I’m distraught would cause more harm than good), then she would disrespect my boundaries by spam texting me or doing other things, then we would talk and make up and apologize. But when she would apologize and claim to change her behavior, it would only ring true for less than a month and by then, we would have another conflict (usually because her behavior reverted). When I apologized and said what I would change for our friendship to be mended, I would uphold my end, but now that I admit it to myself, she was often the one who fell short.
I have been trying to distance myself from her because I noticed that I feel worse when she’s around. I’ve tried to talk to her about my problems before, but I feel like every time I try to approach my problems with her, she lies to me about what happened or comes up with some excuse, like saying something was a joke, when I know it wasn’t. A few days ago, I told my therapist how I was feeling and she said Cat gaslights me and it’s best I distance myself from her and set a boundary because obviously talking about our problems just won’t work. Then I started realizing other things Cat had done. During our friendship, I was convinced I was horrible for needing space whenever she hurt me. Cat told me our friendship was always on my terms and she felt like what she wanted didn’t matter. I realized that this wasn’t true. Every time I tried to distance myself from her, she would force herself back into my life and say or do something to make me feel guilty for ever needing time away from her in the first place. But every time she was back, it felt like she only wanted me there as a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. Like I said before, I felt like she didn’t listen to me, and even though we talked it out, she said she would make change but her actions proved her wrong. I felt like she had turned this all around on me and made me feel like I was in the wrong constantly. This friendship wasn’t always on my terms and what she wanted did matter. The things she told me were completely wrong; the friendship has been on her terms because she’s the one who guilted me into staying and what I wanted didn’t matter when she just needed me to listen to her.
Now here’s where I went wrong. (Keep in mind she has not been in school all week because she’s been quarantining) On Thursday night she told me we needed to talk but I didn’t see the text until Friday because I had been working on homework. I remembered my therapist said to enforce a boundary but I didn’t know how to reply. Then I got caught up in other things and forgot to respond. On Friday, she texted me again and said we shouldn’t be friends anymore because I don’t care. I was relieved. It sucked how she put words in my mouth because I did care, but at the same time I knew I didn’t see this relationship worth salvaging.
I’ve tried to think about this from her side of the story. I don’t know why she lies about so many things. I understand she thinks I’m a terrible friend for (accidentally) ghosting her and every time she lies when I confront her she’s trying to defend herself. But I don’t understand why she can’t also admit where she’s wrong. I don’t think she’s doing things out of malice. But I also don’t think her intentions matter much. Not anymore, anyway. Because even though she has told me she cares for me and loves me, she’s hurt me so much and made it difficult to trust her. I still care for her, too, but I think any attempts to rekindle our friendship would be fruitless and I’m better off without her. This is probably the longest I’ve gone without talking to her, even in a group chat, and I feel so much happier.
But now I feel stuck. She’s still in my friend group and dating my best friend. Not only that, but she’s also on my sports team. I know she’s going to try to talk to me when she’s back in school on Tuesday. There’s only one friend I have who understands how I feel because he was almost as close with her as I was. I want to avoid her, but I know I can’t. I can try and spend time with my other friends during breaks, but I have to see her at practice everyday. How do I maintain a distance? I try and keep our conflict far away from whoever it doesn’t concern, but she usually tells others an exaggerated story (like she did in October) and I’m afraid a good amount of bridges will be burnt if she lies about me. I want to keep my friends but I don’t want to fight for my life defending myself to everyone. George has already stopped talking to me and I wish I could talk to him, but I know he’s going to side with his girlfriend without caring to head my side of the story. My therapist brought up a good point in saying I may need to find new friends if they disregard what I have to say and listen to Cat blindly. I don’t know how to go about this and I’m stressing about seeing everyone on Tuesday.
TLDR; I’m no longer friends with my manipulative best friend but she’s also on my sports team, in my friend group and dating my best friend. I see her at school for the first time in weeks on Tuesday and don’t know what to do because this friend breakup might ruin the rest of my relationships.
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2022.01.16 18:28 Sahapps are there anyone who has mp3 of full discography of Jimi Hendrix
2022.01.16 18:28 goneskiD Check
2022.01.16 18:28 iambreadyhot_glue How to submit one of your themes in the monkeytype github page
2022.01.16 18:28 Fish_Discombobulated I need help with my future!
So basically I am from Spain and I want to study programming in The Netherlands.
The problems are as follows:
2022.01.16 18:28 Dchemist909 Amara Class Mods (1.50)
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2022.01.16 18:28 Porn123_ Suche W die Ficken will
2022.01.16 18:28 alexpods_ new pods from repticon baltimore!!
2022.01.16 18:28 jiyoon86hj 26 [F4M] Hello.. Looking for people to chat with
I deal with crazy lonelyness and it gets boring at night. I also don’t have a lot of friends so if you are also a loner let’s chat. I like video games, anime, movies, random tv shows and reading. Lately I have been getting into psychologic manga genre which has been interesting. If you need some recommendation I can totally name some. I just want a genuine friendship that will last long. It’s been a while since I had a friend like that. Sooooo hmu!!
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2022.01.16 18:28 xlrak Has no one else shared this? Just for fun…
2022.01.16 18:28 Past_Celebration7084 Is this positive or negative? I got a random test coming up. I smoked on New Years.
2022.01.16 18:28 justalilscared Has anyone skipped a cake altogether?
The more I think about it, the more I feel like a cake will be a waste of money. I’m getting quotes of $400 (80 people wedding), and it just doesn’t seem worth it to spend that much.
I’ve ordered about 300 truffles of different flavours, so people will have something sweet to eat. I’m also considering getting popsicles, since it’ll be a hot summer day.
If you’ve completely skipped a cake, what other desserts/sweets did you serve instead? If you’ve been to a cake-less wedding, did you miss it?
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2022.01.16 18:28 cutiepiedaily L
2022.01.16 18:28 TheCatBurglar01 I will overpay you for your storm crystlas
2022.01.16 18:28 zevarac Hey guys! What would you say is a good price for my 97 Jeep Wrangler TJ? It has 96k original miles, 33 inch tires, and a 3 inch body lift. Mechanically it’s in good condition, no fault lights.
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2022.01.16 18:28 HunterPoborski [Walrus] Hobiyee Walrus (LNY skin, 0C)
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2022.01.16 18:28 RedditSpeedBumps Home Security Cameras And More
2022.01.16 18:28 GhostsRveryreal Check this crazy video put by Depths of Despair - Watch "5 SCARY Ghost Videos That Will ACTIVATE Your FIGHT Or FLIGHT Response" on YouTube. The 2nd video of this is so strange
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2022.01.16 18:28 lillyprestonxo WHAT SHOULD I NAME MY SUSHI CAT!
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2022.01.16 18:28 Miserable_Air1027 No msg
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2022.01.16 18:28 DannTheDann I desperately want to find a remote job. (I need advice/help on how to work from home)
Okay so, over the course of several months, actually, for about 2 years now- I’ve been searching for remote jobs all with no success.
I’ve tried LinkedIn, Indeed, Ziprecruiter, SimplyHired, Google, and many other apps and sites.
Also, I’d just like to add, I have a bachelor’s degree which would make you think I may have a little more luck.. but nope. I’m starting to feel like going to college and having a bachelor’s is pointless.
I have ALOT of college debt to pay off and that’s another big reason I want a remote-better paying job.
I’m currently working in a factory, and if anyone here has ever worked in a factory I’m sure you know how draining and mentally taxing it can be, and just overall not very good for the long run.
I know at least 6 people who all have successful, well paying, remote jobs. (And yes I’ve asked every one of them for help/advice on working from home) I even asked if there was any way I could join their line of work…. Still, no success. And every employer has had no interest in me, or just dismisses me altogether. Or when I check all the sites, the job is already taken no longer than when I applied.
A remote job is just ideal for me and I feel kinda defeated knowing how lucky some people have gotten in finding a job fit for them. I really wanna work from home. No matter what it takes.
To add; I have a really nice computer and two monitors that would be perfect for working from home. I also have pretty high speed internet.
-Any help is greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.
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2022.01.16 18:28 DertayRoccstar Upgrades
Just finished adding the carpricorn Bowden tube, metal extruder, new springs, and CR Touch. I want to now do the leveling what’s the best way to do it? Can someone point to me a good video on YouTube or something I can’t find anything.
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