2021.11.27 04:41 Cookiecuttermaxy I used to be very anti-American back in 2013-2015 and looking back at it, whether or not it was justified, I am worried about the first impressions I left behind on many mentors
Where do I even start
First and foremost I kinda had a rough childhood from start, that already didn't help
Alright, so in fall 2013, I started middle school, it was unhelpful as I transferred from one school district to the other, Laredo to Round Rock to be exact. So this made it harder to integrate into the district
Around mid to late October I was being reviewed for misbehavior in my behavioral therapy class(a special needs class), one of the complaints came over from my geography teacher, alright whatever I thought I was just being reviewed. Turns out I was being administered to a special needs academy. Fine, I found nothing wrong with the transition, I thought it honestly wasn't my school, but whatever
As time went on, my relationship with the teachers only got more crazy and crazy, here's where it gets serious: Fast forward to May 2014, and boom I become immediately upfront about it, from always playing against the US in soccefootball games, to always watching Anti American media, to always saying "Fuck America and fuck this shitty education system 🖕🖕🖕"
At the same time I felt pressured to be a patriot, so I pretended to be one, especially by cheering on the US during the World Cup. The pressure to be a blind patriot defintely made more outright serious about my anti Americanism.
Factors that also added fuel to my hatred included
-The fetishization of the military industrial complex and the police state
-feeling that America was notoriously, yet unjustly and ridiculously prudish/sexually repressive
-Political correctness and the trigger-happiness around cuss words
-obsession with race/racial issues 24/7(it was after all the media boom of the 2010s)
-What I thought to be the obsession with guns and firearms
-Lack of appreciation for other cultures
-Americans' obsession with pop culture and trends
-The pretentious "know-it-all" mentality that the US seems to posess
The last 2 were not factors that I really thought of during the phase outrightly, but are 2 I would have taken into account if I had the same level wisdom I do now back then
The summer camps I was sent to didn't help either, I was expelled from both eventually and feel indifferent about it, as I didn't feel like I fit in into either, especially the first one since it was once again a special needs institution, literally
So looking back at it, I view it as both a positive and negative moment in my life
Positive becuase as much as I hate to admit it, it was a very powerful stage in my life, a time I was very serious about my personal beliefs and convictions, I just don't think I will ever have that kind of raw emotional energy again
At the same time, it was a very misguided thing to do and while my mentors may have probably brushed it off, I am sure to some extent some may have viewed as a physcopath or someone wanting to exterminate Americans(even though I never said I wanted to see the country gone, but you never know who may have took it wrongly)
And is a very powerful statement to say that as someone who's always been a social outcast and struggled to fit in. Right now with the way things are going, if it weren't for my emotional discipline and the fact that I recently just became a naturalized US citizen, I would probably be serious about expressing an anti American sentiment again, but this time in a more constructive manner, rather than a seriously misguided one. But I ain't no blind patriot either, but the US is sure a hella lot better than most other countries can afford to be, that's for sure.
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2021.11.27 04:41 karan51ngh Can someone explain, what exactly is Intel Iris xe and How is it different from a dedicated GPU like nvidia mx350 or mx330? Thank you.
2021.11.27 04:41 Bdjdbeidb1000 Are Ethiopians considered African American in the US?
2021.11.27 04:41 -pandoras-box- "what would you do if your gender magically switched for a week?"
normal human beings: "well, i mean, gender is different from sex, but-"
door is violently kicked open by screaming mob of redditors
"AWOOGA AWOOGA I WOULD PLAY WITH LE TITTIES NONSTOP AND HAVE LESBIAN PORN SECKS WHILE DOING MY HOMIES A FAVOR AND BEING A SLUT AMIRITE what do you mean i have unhealthy views of gender and sexuality"
uj/ i hate it here
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2021.11.27 04:41 Bahammed I don’t care, I want her in Smash:
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2021.11.27 04:41 iamabiggirlnow I woke up from a really really bad nightmare I’m scared to go back to sleep
2021.11.27 04:41 collegeapple Bilkent university
I am thinking of applying to Bilkent university after my final high school year. I did a lot of research and but I couldn't find Bilkent acceptance rates. Is there anyone who got rejected by Bilkent or koc? My sat score is 1300.
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2021.11.27 04:41 weiiji Celeste NES-Style Demake
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2021.11.27 04:41 Past-Reception I just started playing and I'm already lost.
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2021.11.27 04:41 terratrooper96 I feel like my gf doesn't fully understand or empathize with me on my family situation.
TL;DR AT BOTTOM
So my family and I don't get along. Well my mom, sister, we'll call C, and me don't. Growing up was a nightmare for me as I was the only guy in my house in a family of four. My other sister, we'll call T, and I get along great same with my bro in law and niece. Since I was born C hated me and until last year I NVR knew why. Sure we got into the usual bro vs sister stuff but something's she did were just borderline sadistic.
We also didn't know I was autistic til I was 17 but it was supposedly noticable around 9 years old. So they assumed my autism was just me being a bratty kid or an asshole teen/adult. This was roughly between the late 90s and 2010s. So we didn't know anything about my mental issues besides ADHD and Asperger's.
C once held me in a chair with my eyes wide open and forced me to watch the leprechaun when I was roughly 8. This was way before I loved horror movies. When I was 5 or 6 she poured hot wax on my legs cause I wouldn't get off the couch. The reason she hated me was cause she blamed me for our parents divorce as I was still in my mom's womb when her and my dad split.
My mom is an avid man hater because of the men in her life treating her like shit. And until she called the cops on me for defending myself against C I thought I was an exception. Mom would punish me for stupid stuff like not cleaning to her standards, ie taking a toothbrush to the corners of the bathroom floor or not folding MY laundry correctly. Or staying up late ON A WEEKEND.
As an adult I'm trying to cut my mom and C out of my life since I've moved out but with the PTSD from constant arguments growing up it's really hard to do so and I've been slowly building up the courage to rip off the band-aid. My gf thinks I'm "contradicting myself" because I still help out my mom who has sever health issues. I feel like my gf expects me or thinks it's easy to cut off my family without hesitation. As I stated earlier im still working through my PTSD so it's gonna be a long process. But it feels like my gf doesn't understand how hard it is for me mentally.
TL;DR: I feel like my gf either forgets or doesn't understand that my PTSD makes it hard to instantly cut out my mom and sister.
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2021.11.27 04:41 shotofsunshine The misogyny in cult-favorite DDLJ—discuss
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2021.11.27 04:41 grayle Dengan rasa hormat dan penuh rasa kesyukuran kami ingin menjemput Tuan/Puan/Encik/Cik ke majlis perkahwinan Edgar Markov & Olivia Voldaren
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2021.11.27 04:41 msmoley Celebrating a century of female achievement in San Diego
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2021.11.27 04:41 bpdqwerty Meandering Roads @ Western Ghat. D750 + 24-70
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2021.11.27 04:41 Sventity Non-reader reaction to Episode 4. I really enjoy their take-aways.
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2021.11.27 04:41 lailalory [FOR HIRE] Commissions Open for Character Art and Emotes! More information in the comments!
2021.11.27 04:41 finnagains African Serial Killer Came To America On A Temporary Visa - Decided To Kill Older White And Asian Women By Breaking Into Their Homes To Steal A Couple of Hundred Dollars Worth Of Junk While Easily Murdering Whites - Hung Jury of 11 Whites and 1 Black Split 11 to 1 - Liberal Media Not Interested
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2021.11.27 04:41 TheMitchPacinoSh0w 🧛♂️ Undead Sol 1451 🔥🚀 Ranked as 44/3000 on RarityMon. Price 399.99 Sol! Listed on Solsea. Link in the comment section
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2021.11.27 04:41 mars82missing Relatability - Su Ed.
Sha Suzu: ”Who cares about grades or exams? Especially while I have this little baby to perfect!“
Me: [Looks down at Nintendo controller] Eheheh... that’s all I ever do (I SO relate but), I also truant school, aghh...
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2021.11.27 04:41 bigDICKdaddy_690 Join the tap&fap Discord Server!
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2021.11.27 04:41 zoink001100 Hey, this is the stuff to get the pitch from the Christmas trees off your hands.
2021.11.27 04:41 ManWhoCanXD Very sedಥ‿ಥ
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2021.11.27 04:41 Miserable_Top404 #GodMorningSaturday #भगवान_का_विधान CONSTITUTION OF GOD ❌STOP EATING MEAT ❌ Those who eat Meat will go to 84 Lakh Jooni Cycle. Must Watch ➡️ SadhnaTV 7:30pm
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2021.11.27 04:41 GianThePlagueDoctor The got my fav Undertale AU
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2021.11.27 04:41 MeliennaZapuni Something nice happened
The other night, all of my friends and I were back in our hometown for Thanksgiving. We all met up at the one person’s house we would always go hang out in as kids.
We all sitting around, eating food we bought when my one friend suddenly goes
“Oh wow! For a second..” couldn’t hear her past that . “What?” “For a second I had to do a double take.. ... brother!” Still not so clear, why the hell did we have the TV that loud for again? “What..?”
Another friend chimed in “You heard her!” “No, I did not! What about your younger brother???”
“I said! For a second I had to do a double take. For a split second, I thought you were Erik, you looked just like him until I remembered it’s you, not him.”
“what?” “Oh my god.” “No! No, I heard... I just don’t believe what I heard.”
“It’s the truth. I’m happy for you, man.” “Thank you. Means a lot to me.”
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