Off and On for 2-3 Years

2021.11.29 15:05 RollingClouds14 Off and On for 2-3 Years

Hi there.
I've sat down to post at this sub probably 20x the last week and I've hit "discard" each time, so I'm finally doing it.
My ex and I have broken up 4 times in the last 3 years. The first two I did it and went back to her, the third time she asked for a break and I said no let's just end it, and the most recent time, a month ago, she did it. In the worst way possible, but you can pm me if you want that story, lol.
I need your help on what to do because I'm going through a daily emotional roller coaster. I'm working on it, but I have zero self control and I can't help but look at her profiles even though I blocked her.
I know now that she's sleeping with someone else now not even a month after we broke things off and that's what hurts the most.
The physical piece was one of the things I always worked so hard on for her. I worked so hard to make sure she was satisfied every time, even to the point that I didn't finish (sorry for being graphic) the last month of our relationship.
And now that she's doing this with someone else and liking posts about it like it's just some funny thing make me physically ill. I don't know what to do...because I can't do anything about it.
I've been with one or two people each week since we broke up but that doesn't help.
I've read a lot on this and I've been told it's always worse in my head than it is in real life, but I don't know.
I don't know why this bothers me so much. She's a free person to do whatever she wants with whoever she wants, just the same way I am. I guess I just feel more than inadequate and like I am so easily replaceable. I feel like nothing I did even matters to her and she just doesn't even care about me or anything that we had together.
I know people say "What's meant to be will be, don't worry about it" but I don't want her after everyone else has had her. I don't want to be that guy.
And I don't know how some guys do it. How do they not care that their SO has been with other people? Are they uber confident in themselves or just the opposite??
I'm now overthinking and ranting, but thanks for listening.
I've gone back to her all 3 times we previously broke up, because I was technically the role of the dumper. I'm not going back to her, but I wish every single day that she would be the one reaching out to me, because this time she was the "bad guy" and I don't know how to stop this roller coaster.
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2021.11.29 15:05 Aromatic-Purchase-41 So I made a mistake and did valentine twice on the bracket so vote for the witch one I will remove and give the other unit a free win (the unit they are against )

Thank you to u/Reason-and-rhyme for bringing this to my attention
Bracket
https://docs.google.com/drawings/d/13gpPDOv7VNg1W4qeqzO9nBIYwGueJ1iQhZZJDil6DR4/edit?usp=sharing

Brit madness main post https://www.reddit.com/CompanyOfHeroes/comments/r4stv5/coh2_brit_madness/
View Poll
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2021.11.29 15:05 Shilpa2022 Dr B R Ambedkar University - [BRAU], Etcherla

Srikakulam was�created�by the State of Andhra Pradesh�Government�G.O vide MS No: 89 Higher Education (UE.II) Department on 25/06/2008. Also, with the goal of supplementing education facilities in the Srikakulam District and meeting the educational requirements of the district�s residents. However, with a measures of improving higher education facilities to the underdeveloped regions of the Srikakulam District, Andhra University came forward in 1977-1978 in Srikakulam in the aura and status of Andhra University Post Graduate Extension Centre, later as Andhra University Dr BR Ambedkar PG Centre, with�UGC�Support to institute two disciplines which are Economics and Rural Development at�Post Graduate�level.

https://www.cheggindia.com/university/dr-b-r-ambedkar-university-brau-etcherla-10004/
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2021.11.29 15:05 IANULYTalent Job Opening: Unreal Engine Developer at IANULY Talent Accelerators

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2021.11.29 15:05 Bsgdoe Just got these- The Alpenn gleaux live resin smells insanely good and terpy!

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2021.11.29 15:05 Eventplanner1988 Best areas in Jersey to live in that’s close to Philly

I plan on moving to New Jersey from Philly next year (2022). I’m a black woman with a 1yr old son so I would like to live in an area that is diverse and accepting. I’m an event planner and most of my work is in Philly so I would like to live in an area that is in close proximity (no more than an hour away). Can anyone please provide some insight? I would be mostly interested in renting an apartment or house.
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2021.11.29 15:05 asocial7193 Is there any reason why women who have fiance , seeks help from their guy friend instead of asking her fiance?

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2021.11.29 15:05 Rey_98 Lease Termination with 60 days notice

I have a 6 months left on my lease on a property I've rented for a full year already( this is my second year) and have provided my landlord with 60 days notice . I am trying to do the nice thing and find a sublet but having a hell of a time. Was wondering what my options are. Landlord basically refuses to end lease unless I find someone despite the 60 days notice.
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2021.11.29 15:05 aswanthrd I somehow got an Arena 1 chest in Arena 12.

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2021.11.29 15:05 ShortAlgo $HOPE Waiting for Short signal.

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2021.11.29 15:05 Xerapin Inseparable buddies

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2021.11.29 15:05 AlphaSuri Did She Have To Be Next?! - Danganronpa 2: Chapter 2

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2021.11.29 15:05 ThatcherIsDeed Which is it conservatives? Is £40 a week too much? Or is £80k a year not enough?

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2021.11.29 15:05 Environmental-Time99 Idiocracy

Day for day since January I’m waking up and checking Reddit. Taking a shower, going for breakfast and again checking reddit, trending posts on superstonk. Im reading all the DD I see and everytime I see a date, I’m hyped. Y know what the problem is? The day after the hype day. What happens after the hype date? Another date is set! And again I’m hyping like a kid does for christmas, even when I know this date will most likely again be bullshit, I do hype, since january. I got to a point where I even stopped reading the whole DD and slowly I’m ignoring hype dates. I know I have no effect on it and so I suggest it to y‘all. Don’t read trough the sub every hour. Dont expect anything from any dates and do not get yourself tired by it. Remember the document from 2004 where tactics were written to get retail out of stocks? One of the tactics was to shoot the stock up at market open and slowly let it close lower. Doing this tactic for weeks, months should get the retail to a tired point. DRS, HODL and wait for papi cohi.
Stay zen ✊
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2021.11.29 15:05 thelizardking_19453 Test Cricket,movies and entertainment

Attention span of people in today's world is very short. I was thinking of an analogy between cricket and movies. Art movies which need your attention and patience are not easy to digest by everyone especially in today's world where people don't have time or need entertainment in quick time. With n number of different entertainment sources the essence of art has lost its footmark and stayed relevent to a particular audience. Same can be said for test cricket, when I am watching a test match it makes feel like I am watching a movie of for example Adrie Tarakovsky (Russian director). It looks like nothing is happening there but attention to detail is the key. So when we talk about expansion of test cricket into new territories, it's very hard to grasp a hold on an audience when the whole digital world is feeding them the fast content constantly.
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2021.11.29 15:05 FreezingRobot Brawler Petra

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2021.11.29 15:05 BDHYoda [Cables] Phanteks PH-CB24P_BW 1.64 ft. (0.50 m) 24 Pin M/B Extension Cable 500mm Length (14.99 - 10.50) ($4.49) (70% off)

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2021.11.29 15:05 awalias Postgres 14 now available in Supabase

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2021.11.29 15:05 bongs_n_bevvy [Price Check] Fixer Q/50C/50BS

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2021.11.29 15:05 JohnPietro Ray Poll Part 2: If we hear Ray has signed with the Angels, what should be our collective response?

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2021.11.29 15:05 Nerx Sometimes Jumpers just wanna have fun, even in cutscenes.

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2021.11.29 15:05 _game_over_man_ A sense of relief after the passing of an elderly dog

Bear with me, I feel like the title may make people feel some kind of way...
I had to put my 12.5 year old dog down last Friday. He had been dealing with neurological issues in his hind legs due to two chronic herniated discs and his legs finally went fully paralyzed on Thursday night. He was diagnosed via MRI last March after I had noticed his gait changing over the course of 2020 which is what prompted me to get him checked out. I opted not to do surgery due to cost, high chance the surgery wouldn't fix anything and generally that it didn't feel like a good way to spend some of his remaining years recovering from it. There was nothing I could have done to prevent this, I've had two different people tell me it was just shit luck and I'm still a bit angry that it happened to him. He was still spunky and in good spirits. He still ate, peed and pooped, but he is not the kind of dog that would adjust well to being paralyzed and especially due to his age, letting him pass peacefully was the right decision. I'm obviously feeling all of the things right now. I'm incredibly heartbroken and miss him so much and I wish I could go back in time and relive the years I had with him before he got diagnosed with his disability.
It was really hard watching such an energetic dog lose his ability to be energetic. I couldn't take him on walks, he couldn't rough house, he couldn't run. Those were all of his favorite things and he still tried to do them despite his back legs being wonky. He seemed to adjust to it okay and he certainly still enjoyed his life, but it was hard to watch him slowly fall apart over the past year or so. There was increased weakness in his hind legs and his left leg was especially affected. He had always knuckled a bit since he had a TPLO surgery on his left leg in 2016, but the knuckling just got worse as time went on. The hair on the top of his paw started to wear off as he walked on top of his paw with increased frequency. He would sometimes get cuts due to scraping it against the brick when walking into the house from our backyard. I had purchased him a boot to help with the knuckling in October, but that caused a pressure point and a wound on the side of his paw. There was just more and more care that came as time went on. I'm sure anyone with an elderly pet has experienced this, regardless of what conditions that pet has. Things get old and need more help and attention, that's just sort of life.
Anyway, to my point since I'm generally long winded. I feel this sense of relief now that he's gone and I no longer have to worry about him. I don't have to worry about him continuing to deteriorate before my eyes. Watching him slowly fall apart was it's own kind of heartbreak that I feel like people don't talk about as much as the heartbreak of eventually losing them. They're still in your life, but they aren't who they used to be and your relationship with them changes. They're still a companion, but you become a caretaker in a new kind of way as you help transition them through this final chapter of their life. I don't feel guilty for feeling relief, I think it's natural to feel this way. I lost my grandma earlier this year and I've talked to my mom about this feeling since my mom was the medical caretaker as my grandma's health declined. She felt it too as she was released of the burden of care. The past couple years have been hard and stressful. The anxiety of living through a global pandemic has been palpable. This year has been incredibly difficult for a variety of reasons that aren't even related to COVID. I miss him terribly and I would never wish this fate on him, if I could will him back into my life I would, but I cannot deny that there is now a bit of a weight lifted off my shoulders . It's been replaced by grief and pain, but I would be lying if my anxiety levels have decreased a bit now that he's gone.
Just looking to hear similar experiences as I work through my grief. Thanks.
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2021.11.29 15:05 1man3cats Terrakion on me 2 players waiting

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2021.11.29 15:05 heibun 50-60% off Sheertex + free shipping

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