(28M) Sometimes I Wish I Had A Mother

2021.12.06 02:17 sepia_dreamer (28M) Sometimes I Wish I Had A Mother

Which is a terrible thing to say because I do have a mother, who texts me a couple times a week to tell me she loves me.
And she’s not an objectively terrible person: she wants to do right, she wants to make up for the past, she wants the best for her children.. but I find her emotionally needy in a way that’s exhausting to me and as such I’ve never felt safe to be vulnerable with her. Made worse, I feel, by the fact that she wants me to.
I’m 28 and have been cutting my own path through life, by most metrics you could say I’m doing quite well, especially in terms of the ground I’ve covered. But I want to be able to fall apart and be afraid and uncertain and know that everything’s going to be ok. I want someone who can hold me tight.
I want to date and find myself a girlfriend but I’m afraid my need for a mother will smother a relationship (in the same way my mother has smothered ours). But other than “be stronger” I don’t know what options there are. And being strong is exhausting, besides that I feel it makes me less open and free.
I have some female mentors, and a female boss, within a few years either side of my mothers age, women who have raised children of their own, or spent significant time with young adults. But I know I can’t overload those relationships.
In a similar way I long for a father. I have one of course, they’re even still together, and he’s no longer the dangerous man I knew as a child. But I’ve never been inspired by him, never looked up to him, never saw in him something I wanted to be. But while I nearly have a few mother figures, I’ve never had a father figure for more than a fleeting moment before their personal flaws disillusioned me. Just finding a man I can consistently look up to who is within reach has proven difficult.
I look at my parents and they seem to me like children lost somewhere in their preadolescence. Lost, scared, unwilling to step out of the familiar lines, and lacking the insight, solidness, and care I most need.
It gets heavy trying to carry it all. But while I make friends easily it doesn’t seem the right place to unburden on them, and my luck with therapists has been thin.
I wish I had parents I trusted for emotional support, perspective, and being able to understand me and what I’m trying to do with my life..
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2021.12.06 02:17 Hypermunn 🐕 SafeCheems - Stealth Launched ✅ SafeMoon fork ✅ Low MC ✅ LP locked 🔐 Anti WHALE 🐳 Anti Sniper 🎯 Based Devs 🤓

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2021.12.06 02:17 anoninturmoil5 What are signs of a toxic relationship?

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2021.12.06 02:17 CryptoWangSiCong Buying back in

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2021.12.06 02:17 AhFalafel Microsoft issues warning to 2 billion Chrome users: Life is fleeting. Will you look back and say, “I wish I had,” or “I’m glad I did”?

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2021.12.06 02:17 tiptiop23 How good does sex actually feel?

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2021.12.06 02:17 Smooth-Low-9536 What is the purpose of a date?

I (21M) have been in a fwb situation for about 6 months. As far as I know we have been mutually exclusive. She (21) says she’s not looking for a relationship anytime soon. But she also says she’s open to going on dates with people. I say if you’re going on a date with someone it’s mutually understood that you are both looking to see if the two of you are compatible for a relationship. Unless I have been lied to and she is looking for a relationship, then what is the point of going on dates?
TLDR Do you go on dates just because or to see if there is a connection?
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2021.12.06 02:17 efarkle there’s been a lot of like, stress inducing posts on this sub lately :(

i feel like recently there’s been a lot more posts on this sub that are either attacking others or generalizing others
also have seen a lot of reposting from the “fake disorder cringe” subreddit, which i guess isn’t inherently bad to do for a discussion standpoint, but…. i don’t know, i feel like in a community built for autistic people, seeing ableism is just a huge bummer
really not a fan of all of the infighting i’ve seen occur, mostly! it just bums me out. i feel like we should be uplifting each other—because we’re in the same community and have similar struggles, and we’re all human and need support. and it can be hard to find a supportive place as an autistic person
i don’t know where i’m going with this, i’m just a little bummed. any thoughts?
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2021.12.06 02:17 ZoobBot 190856

This is the 190856th time I made this shitty comment. I hate this job.
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2021.12.06 02:17 SaintGodfather AITA for not buying Christmas presents for my stepkids?

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2021.12.06 02:17 Own_King_7700 Goodluck boys

Goodluck boys submitted by Own_King_7700 to FilipinaTribute [link] [comments]

2021.12.06 02:17 NachtBC My Park (Pt.2)

My Park (Pt.2) submitted by NachtBC to dragonvale [link] [comments]

2021.12.06 02:17 ramarama123 Rakul Preet Singh (old)

Rakul Preet Singh (old) submitted by ramarama123 to thighzone [link] [comments]

2021.12.06 02:17 ZachS45 Watkins Glen Turn 1 Track Limits

What are the track limits for this track, specifically T1. Ive been doing a lot of Formula Ultimate time trials on this track but you can really abuse that first turn runoff and its not track limits. It was the same in Iracing. Obviously in a race if you went off, you have to rejoin safely, but hotlapping, the fastest line is to go off the track. Any thoughts?
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2021.12.06 02:17 jacobzhu95 鄒幸彤獲頒「中國傑出民主人士獎」:香港發生的一切是對世界的警號

鄒幸彤獲頒「中國傑出民主人士獎」:香港發生的一切是對世界的警號 submitted by jacobzhu95 to DoubanGoosegroup [link] [comments]

2021.12.06 02:17 hands---free LONG: "A long time ago." |

LONG: submitted by hands---free to learnASL [link] [comments]

2021.12.06 02:17 Personal_Operation89 What will happen to Didi shares? Should I sell them?

Even by the volatile standards of Chinese stocks, the swings in Didi Global Inc. on Friday were extraordinary.
In the span of just a few hours, shares of the ride-hailing giant flipped from a 16% gain to a 12% loss, bounced back into positive territory, then turned lower yet again. And that was all before the opening bell in New York.
I still own lots of Didi shares. Should I sell them?
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2021.12.06 02:17 Embarrassed-Pay-4414 idk what to do

My gf broke up with me because i didnt wanna quit weed. She’s mentioned how she doesn’t like the small or anything to do with it at all, so i only smoke when im by myself, & not when we’re gonna be hanging out. But, she doesn’t think she can continue dealing with it. She said thats the only reason shes breaking up with me unless i quit. Idk how to feel. Just wanna know peoples thoughts on this situation.
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2021.12.06 02:17 Bot_Highlights One of my teammates has a hidden ability(Stevie impersonation) | /u/StayFreshy69

One of my teammates has a hidden ability(Stevie impersonation) | StayFreshy69 submitted by Bot_Highlights to rusthighlights [link] [comments]

2021.12.06 02:17 Navi1101 Tofu is named, not for his resemblance to the bean curd, but for his extra toes. He's a master of toe-fu!

Tofu is named, not for his resemblance to the bean curd, but for his extra toes. He's a master of toe-fu! submitted by Navi1101 to CatsCalledFood [link] [comments]

2021.12.06 02:17 swagmonster55 How does the Ryerson SafeApp play into going to in person classes?

Hey everyone! As an undergrad coming into Ryerson in 2020, next semester will be my first time going to any class in person.
I’m wondering how the Ryerson safe app will actually be used or if I’ll be required to do stream of some sort. I’d appreciate any help for clarification.
Thank you in advance!
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2021.12.06 02:17 difraig Any place you recommend for getting car tinting done?

In Ann Arbor or its surroundings?
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2021.12.06 02:17 Attmon_The_Elder Anybody have a hard time talking to drunk people?

I always have a hard time being heard in a conversation, which is hard enough, but when someone is drunk it is amplified by like 1000. I get angry and frustrated hearing the unstoppable chatter and repetitive language. It's even worse when getting drunk texts. Had somebody send me 43 texts in a row with once sentence at a time with no response from me. I've tried to distance myself from people who are overly intoxicated but have been made to feel like I'm being rude or a jerk if I say I don't want to talk to someone who's drunk. I've been made to feel like a hypocrite because I didn't want to talk to a drunk person while I'm stoned. I've been made to feel like a bad friend and brother because I don't want to hear the same stories over and over again that keep changing minor details. I've been made to feel insensitive for ignoring the reasons people drink as much as they do. I want to be a good friend and be there for someone if they need help but being wasted like that is so overwhelming. I'm not saying that I get upset or frustrated if I talk to someone who has been drinking alcohol. I'm saying specifically people who are drunk drunk. Sorry for the rant but this honestly really helped me calm down.
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2021.12.06 02:17 UNHchabo I made a new Livesplit component that displays the total amount of gold you've got this run

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2021.12.06 02:17 derpums I got it. (Expert)

I got the Stormbow. And now I need your approval for the fight. I have 999 holy arrows, the Daedalus, Magic Quiver, Ranger Emblem, swiftness, archer, ironskin, and gravity potions. And then 7 sashimi and 2 pumpkin pies. Am I ready to face the Destroyer?
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