I had a question - I'm not ace but hoping to get more understanding of where I am

2021.11.29 15:42 hydratehydrate I had a question - I'm not ace but hoping to get more understanding of where I am

Hello!
Thanks in advance for anyone who can give me some advice/reflect back. I apologize for anything I may have said incorrectly, I've never really questioned my sexuality in my life until, well, the last few years but never in my life thought I'd see a day where I just didn't want to have sex.
I'm 31F, and I've been having sex since I was 15. I also had a pretty heavy drinking career and looots of sexual encounters up until I got sober when I was 27. I was suggested to do a year of celibacy and I was going to therapy and figured out a lot of things about myself:

  1. Because of the abuse I went through as a child, a lot of sex/drug fueled encounters was likely an outburst of trying to regain control over my life
  2. I was sexually assaulted when I was 22 and likely became hypersexual in the process even more so than I already was
  3. I just had my first year-long relationship in sobriety and I got onto a high hormonal birth control that basically wrecked everything about me from the inside out. I went insane every day for nearly a year. I just started getting acupuncture for it about 3 weeks ago and my mental state has subsided almost 100% .. it's actually crazy how well acupuncture worked for that. In any case, I had almost zero sex drive and it's starting to come back..
On top of being in my 30s and just finding sex to be a little messy in general AND being childfree - I just have no desire to want to have sex. Pregnancy isn't worth it to me and going back on any type of birth control ain't gonna happen. I also don't particularly want to get sterilized just cuz I want my body as-is.
So with all of these things happening, I've realized that I just don't want to have sex. I literally broke things off with my partner last week because he needs sex in a relationship (no judgment at all), I don't want to be anywhere near sex, and it would be wholly unfair of me to have him wait around to figure out that I barely want to have sex. At the beginning of our relationship we were doing it 3x a day, happily. As soon as I got on the birth control, we may have had it like 10 times in the last year.. I was actually questioning my "relationship with sex" when I got into this new relationship, and just the year of hormonal torture solidified a few things internally.
I don't have fear about it, I just literally don't want to.
So here are a few things, I'm not looking to date for a good long while (years) but how would I describe my situation to someone? I'm not asexual, or at least I don't think I am, I still find people attractive (maybe not sexually attractive anymore) -- I just have absolutely no desire to have sex for various reasons.
I don't get any sort of validation from it, I only enjoy it because I see my partner enjoying it. It is literally the last thing on my mind if it's even on my mind. I was never like this, but the thought of never having sex again is like one of the most freeing thoughts in my mind. I have so much mental space to pursue other things lol I feel like George Costanza in that episode of Seinfeld.
I know this a dumb dumb question because I've been told since birth that sexuality isn't a choice - but.... can I have become asexual? Is it "typical" to have discovered your sexuality in your 30s?
I have absolutely just no idea where I'm at and it seems to be super complicated that I can't make any sense of it.
Thank you!!
submitted by hydratehydrate to Asexual [link] [comments]


2021.11.29 15:42 robatok Wie entwickelt sich das Gehalt?

Nehmen wir mal an, es erfolgt ein Berufseinstieg nach dem Masterstudium, in einem großen, globalen Unternehmen z.B. im Finanzbereich. Man steigt im Tarif ein, Grundgehalt: 55k Brutto im Jahr (lassen wir mal Boni weg). Wie entwickelt sich grob das Grundgehalt von dort an? Kann ich in 10 Jahren mit dem doppelten Gehalt rechnen? Angenommen ich bin Fachexperte und keine Führungskraft, wo würde das Gehalt in etwa stagnieren (ich höre am meisten 100k max. wenn nicht Führungskraft oder man auch nicht an der innovativsten Stelle arbeitet)?
submitted by robatok to Finanzen [link] [comments]


2021.11.29 15:42 RebeckaFishman How is this acceptable?

How is this acceptable? submitted by RebeckaFishman to apexlegends [link] [comments]


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submitted by Revolutionary_Yak850 to AllCryptoBets [link] [comments]


2021.11.29 15:42 Awperator Issues with SSH after updating to DSM 7

Hi, I recently updated to DSM 7 and I have noticed that SSH is not working properly. I am not talking about SSH'ing into the NAS, but from the NAS to external servers (feralhosting seedbox).
Example:
I SSH into the NAS, and then I want to run lftp or SSH from the command line. The SSH prompt gets hung up after I input my password. I cant cancel out of the prompt and basically have to kill the original terminal session to the NAS. See attached image for frozen terminal after inputting password.

If I try the verbose prompt (ssh *username*@*.feralhosting.com -vvv), I get hung up here:
Authenticated to *.feralhosting.com ([*.*.*.*]:22).
debug1: channel 0: new [client-session]
debug3: ssh_session2_open: channel_new: 0
debug2: channel 0: send open
debug3: send packet: type 90
debug1: Requesting no-more-sessions@openssh.com
debug3: send packet: type 80
debug1: Entering interactive session.
debug1: pledge: network
debug3: receive packet: type 80
debug1: client_input_global_request: rtype hostkeys-00@openssh.com want_reply 0
debug3: receive packet: type 91
debug2: channel_input_open_confirmation: channel 0: callback start
debug2: fd 3 setting TCP_NODELAY
debug3: ssh_packet_set_tos: set IP_TOS 0x48
debug2: client_session2_setup: id 0
debug2: channel 0: request pty-req confirm 1
debug3: send packet: type 98
debug2: channel 0: request shell confirm 1
debug3: send packet: type 98
debug2: channel_input_open_confirmation: channel 0: callback done
debug2: channel 0: open confirm rwindow 0 rmax 32768

Not getting much from searching these error messages. Post on stackoverflow point the blame at router settings, but I don't think that is the case. I can SSH to this feralhosting server from any other computer on the same network (rules out feralhosting and also rules out the router). I can also SSH to other computers on my network from the NAS (e.g. a raspberry pi). I have not tried to SSH into any other external servers from the NAS, so I dont know if this is a specific problem with this one server.
I have tried clearing my ~/.ssh/known_hosts file... no change there. Out of ideas. Any help would be appreciated!
submitted by Awperator to synology [link] [comments]


2021.11.29 15:42 Maltir_Shepard What to play on TV?

I've never worked in a bar where I have control over what goes on the TV. It's always been the Manager's and lead bartender that take care of that. I'm now working in a bar where I'm encouraged to control what goes on the tv (and what music to play) and have no clue what to put on it. I always assumed that sports games happened everyday but apparently not today (not a big sports guy myself). What are some of your favorite things to play at your bars when there are no sports games that day?
submitted by Maltir_Shepard to bartenders [link] [comments]


2021.11.29 15:42 Revolutionary-Bell74 Flowers Under a Blue Light

Flowers Under a Blue Light submitted by Revolutionary-Bell74 to mildlyinteresting [link] [comments]


2021.11.29 15:42 ronny_cake I catched my first Wynaut from an egg 😳‼️💢

I catched my first Wynaut from an egg 😳‼️💢 submitted by ronny_cake to pokemongobrag [link] [comments]


2021.11.29 15:42 LifeIsTooDamnShort Went to see the show that changed my life 10 years ago.Dream come true!

Went to see the show that changed my life 10 years ago.Dream come true! submitted by LifeIsTooDamnShort to musicals [link] [comments]


2021.11.29 15:42 slowmindedthingy UniHack 2021 - International Hackathon

Hi guys! There is this contest you might want to check!
UniHack is an international hackathon for university and high school students with a focus on solving civic issues. 📷
If you are eager to learn from our mentors, challenge your hacking abilities, and bond with new students from around the world, then this is the event for you. 📷
You will have 48h to develop software or hardware with your team members and get a chance to qualify for track prizes or even for the grand prize. Solving a civic issue gets your team bonus points. 📷
This year’s edition will be online. 📷
Register now for UniHack 2021 at https://unihack.eu
submitted by slowmindedthingy to learnpython [link] [comments]


2021.11.29 15:42 MycoloG-42 Anyone else having issues with NVG?

I’ve got a pair of NVG that won’t work. Battery is in them and all pieces in good condition. When I turn them on nothing happens. When I take them off of the helmet and l use them in my hands like binoculars, my screen just goes black when I look through them.
I haven’t played in a few months so idk if this is a known recent bug, but I’ve never had trouble with them before and I’ve got a lot of time in this game.
Appreciate any replies
submitted by MycoloG-42 to dayz [link] [comments]


2021.11.29 15:42 JagerVogeljager Kaiser appreciation post

Kaiser appreciation post submitted by JagerVogeljager to Kaiserposting [link] [comments]


2021.11.29 15:42 guiltnerd Well this doesn’t bode well does it? 10dpo today.

Well this doesn’t bode well does it? 10dpo today. submitted by guiltnerd to TFABChartStalkers [link] [comments]


2021.11.29 15:42 Mimbulu Fan art of Shen Xiaoting's pink concept photos!

Fan art of Shen Xiaoting's pink concept photos! submitted by Mimbulu to kep1er [link] [comments]


2021.11.29 15:42 Highassmotherfucker Tried to force a word out. Embarrassed myself bigly.

I’m trying to embrace my stutter. I’m trying anything at this point. So anyway, I’m at a group gathering. The group was talking about something. I simply want to agree with everyone and input “yeah, I agree”. Well here’s how it went…
“Yeah, i—“ all eyes on me at this point
Again I try. “Yeah, iiiIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!”
Basically I got tried getting past the i, but I literally just began screaming louder and louder. After that, I just excused myself and left. Facepalm.
submitted by Highassmotherfucker to Stutter [link] [comments]


2021.11.29 15:42 politicly1 Biden says new Omicron variant is 'cause for concern, not a cause for panic'

Biden says new Omicron variant is 'cause for concern, not a cause for panic' submitted by politicly1 to politicly [link] [comments]


2021.11.29 15:42 Relic2021 Twister Edge 110 3wd availability

Looking to buy these skates but they are out of stock everywhere. Does anyone have any insight to when they'll be back again?
submitted by Relic2021 to rollerblading [link] [comments]


2021.11.29 15:42 coldshakes Not a cooking lover

I’m here for some inspiration because I’m too lazy to cook for myself but I want to cook IK I’m sounding weird 😞
submitted by coldshakes to Cooking [link] [comments]


2021.11.29 15:42 Chumbag_love DAE remember when Champignon (SHRM) was this subs front runner and one of the first psychedelic stocks available? Pepperidge Farms Remembers.

DAE remember when Champignon (SHRM) was this subs front runner and one of the first psychedelic stocks available? Pepperidge Farms Remembers. submitted by Chumbag_love to shroomstocks [link] [comments]


2021.11.29 15:42 thevaultsucc8689 Hello, had a question about the difficulty of growing Banisteriopsis Caapi and Mimosa hostilis

Are either of these plants difficult to grow? I've been looking to have a supply for my own Ayahuasca brew sometime. If they are too difficult would there be any other plants for Ayahuasca that would be easier. I'm somewhat of a beginner gardener so I'm afraid I may kill them if I attempt to grow them.
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2021.11.29 15:42 1stofall-blessings What is this black scale on my cactus?

What is this black scale on my cactus? submitted by 1stofall-blessings to cactus [link] [comments]


2021.11.29 15:42 best-music-for-ever Edward maya Akcent best Cover Songs Music 2021

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2021.11.29 15:42 AbdulIahx37 الثلاثي المرح xD “ ترى ترند " الرسم

الثلاثي المرح xD “ ترى ترند submitted by AbdulIahx37 to BanderitaX [link] [comments]


2021.11.29 15:42 esberat Friendship goals.

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2021.11.29 15:42 cipriantk How did they achieve the grass

https://youtu.be/GlOo4W66jSs
This is a mobile game. I wonder, considering mobile limitation how did they achieve so many strands of grass?
Any explication is well appreciated :D
Thank you
submitted by cipriantk to Unity3D [link] [comments]


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