Do I tell my friend she has a victim mentality which is damaging the friendship? (22f)

2021.12.01 18:05 stuckskincare Do I tell my friend she has a victim mentality which is damaging the friendship? (22f)

My friend Z and I met a couple of years ago and we have grown quite close. She suffers with her mental health as she went through a lot growing up which probably explains (but doesn't justify) her behaviour.
I've noticed now that she falls out with anyone who she sees often. She's rang me a few times whilst in tears telling me about an argument she's had with a mutual friend, her boyfriend or a family member. Whilst she's in this state I tend to just stroke her ego and tell her they were wrong for whatever they 'did to her'. Later, I think about what she told me and realise that it was a minor misunderstanding which she blew up or she started the argument herself. But I never tell her this and instead I let her carry on complaining about the situation because I don't know how else to approach it. When she argues with a mutual friend, she ruins other people's friendship with them as she tries to convince everyone that the other person is bad. I've become better at staying neutral now. She holds friends to higher expectations than she holds herself . She cut off our mutual friend for telling another friend about an argument they had. Her main issue was that the person she didn't like the other person. But she had told multiple people herself, including me. So this is quite hypocritical really.
We rarely argue between ourselves but when we do, it's not normal and it's quite unhealthy. The first time this caught me off guard was when I woke up to paragraphs and paragraphs from her explaining every 'wrong' thing I've done to her in the course of our friendship. She told me she was sending these to anyone she felt she needed to get something 'off her chest' about. Some of the things were so far in the past that I was shocked she was holding onto them and that the grudge had been festering inside her. She mentioned things like "you made new friends and made me feel like you didn't want to hang out with me". This was when she heard that me and my other friends made plans- why would I invite her when she barely knows them? I got annoyed with her during that time because she somehow found (and still does) a way to worm her way into all of my different friendship groups, defeating the entire purpose of having separate groups. She also mentioned stuff like me not giving her enough attention when she's venting. Honestly, she used to treat me like her therapist because she refused to get actual therapy but I started making it obvious that I have boundaries. There was more she sent me but I could make a whole post on it. Anyway, when I woke up to that, I was shocked and my first instinct was just to apologise because I couldn't be bothered to dig up old stories. She accepted it and was like "I'm so sorry I had to do this" which I found odd. This was in summer btw.
The most recent incident was a week ago when she called me sneaky and has stopped talking to me because I spoke to a guy who she USED to have the smallest crush on. She had a crush on him from far but when she actually spoke to him (because I got speaking to him and his friends for her) she realised he was not her type personality-wise. She saw us having a conversation in college and when she found out I had him on social media she FLIPPED. Later on, I cut him off because he was sending me unwanted sexual texts and she blamed me for this, saying I must have made him feel comfortable enough to do so? She has no right to be mad because she has no claim over this guy she crushed on for two minutes. She told me we're not 'falling out over this' but still hasn't spoken to me when the ball is in her court now.
To be honest, I find her so draining but I don't know how to tell her this and I don't know who's going to break the silence as its been like a week. Advice please!
TLDR: Close friend with mental health struggles has no sense of boundaries, ends up arguing with everyone she sees on a regular basis and is slightly entitled for no reason. Don't know how to tell her this and don't know if I should cut her off although the thought has entered my mind many times. Mainly hesitant because when we have good periods, she is a good friend. That probably means I should cut her off.
submitted by stuckskincare to SeriousConversation [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 HowardJDuck WATCH: Jen Psaki Falsely Claims Trump Told People to 'Inject Bleach'

WATCH: Jen Psaki Falsely Claims Trump Told People to 'Inject Bleach' submitted by HowardJDuck to BreitbartNews [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 aetkas001 After upgrading to Windows 10, CPU and RAM overclock are no longer stable.

Hi, I recently upgraded to Windows 10 from 8.1. I clean installed and immediately I got a BSOD so I disabled my CPU and RAM overclocks. This solved the BSOD but now any OC I do results in a BSOD.
Here are my specs:

Type Item
CPU Intel Core i7-6700K 4 GHz Quad-Core Processor
CPU Cooler CRYORIG H7 49 CFM CPU Cooler
Motherboard MSI Z170-A PRO ATX LGA1151 Motherboard
Memory Corsair Vengeance LPX 16 GB (2 x 8 GB) DDR4-3200 CL16 Memory
Video Card Zotac GeForce GTX 1080 8 GB AMP Video Card
Power Supply EVGA G2 550 W 80+ Gold Certified Fully Modular ATX Power Supply
Prior to the upgrade I was running the i7 at 4.4Ghz using the CPU multiplier, and the RAM at 3000Mhz with XMP.
Confusingly if I turn on MSI's "OC Genie" the CPU will OC to 4.4Ghz and be stable, but it won't if I manually turn the multiplier to 44. So I'm not as concerned about it.
The RAM just won't OC at all above 2400Mhz.
The prior setup ran fine for around 4 years so I don't understand why just upgrading to Windows 10 would cause it to be unable to OC.
Any ideas? Thanks
submitted by aetkas001 to overclocking [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 Dr_GIR CB Joe Haden misses another practice as Steelers prepare to face Ravens

CB Joe Haden misses another practice as Steelers prepare to face Ravens submitted by Dr_GIR to Triblive [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 robcrypto When will we see a new ATH for AVA?

View Poll
submitted by robcrypto to Travala [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 TheLoneGreyWolf How do I make a minion build for endless delve?

I think the way to do it is just go with something like Kay's minion army, right, then if you find minion unique jewels, you can specialize into those minions?
I'm not familiar with SSF and minion builds. Pls help c:
submitted by TheLoneGreyWolf to PathOfExileBuilds [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 HowardJDuck 'Embarrassing': Chris Cuomo Breaks Silence on Suspension from CNN

'Embarrassing': Chris Cuomo Breaks Silence on Suspension from CNN submitted by HowardJDuck to BreitbartNews [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 Dr_GIR Daystar CEO Marcus Lamb dies after covid diagnosis

Daystar CEO Marcus Lamb dies after covid diagnosis submitted by Dr_GIR to Triblive [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 FamousFinance5076 I checked and it solves homework. Teachers be like: "Holup how did they solve quadratic equations in the 3rd grade?"

I checked and it solves homework. Teachers be like: submitted by FamousFinance5076 to HolUp [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 HowardJDuck Mich. High School Football Star Died Trying to Disarm School Shooter

Mich. High School Football Star Died Trying to Disarm School Shooter submitted by HowardJDuck to BreitbartNews [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 flaccidpanda64 Probably gonna delete later idk, never posted anything of myself anywhere before lmao

Probably gonna delete later idk, never posted anything of myself anywhere before lmao submitted by flaccidpanda64 to teenfemboy [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 Dr_GIR 'Very loud' Mike Tomlin puts players in pads as Steelers prepare to face 1st-place Ravens

'Very loud' Mike Tomlin puts players in pads as Steelers prepare to face 1st-place Ravens submitted by Dr_GIR to Triblive [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 iethey How long does it take to top up with transferwise?

I tried searching this subreddit already, and a bit of the FAQ on the site, but I couldn't find an answer
submitted by iethey to WegobuyOfficial [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 HowardJDuck Chris Murphy: GOP Sending 'Silent Message of Endorsement' to School Shooters

Chris Murphy: GOP Sending 'Silent Message of Endorsement' to School Shooters submitted by HowardJDuck to BreitbartNews [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 throwherRA Freshman Anxieties

Trad ORM at a low-tier university.
I made the fatal mistake of loading general chemistry and biology my first semester and now I’ll have to deal with Bs in both classes + the chemistry lab. So obviously, I’m losing it.
I am trying to get my volunteer hours, trying (and failing) at gaining clinical experience, and now I’m worried for Gen Chem 2 + OChem. Reading through this subreddit has made me realize how selective medical schools are, and now I’m worried I can’t keep up with an increasingly exceptional applicant pool.
There’s just so much I don’t know -- what is CASPER and when do I have to take it? Is research really that important? Do I need to be published? Should I stop focusing on in-school clubs and committees and focus more on other things? How do I even get started?!
Both of my parents are doctors too, though one is retired. Both went Caribbean in the 70s and 90s respectively. Both of them are just telling me to get good grades - they don’t know how hard it is to get in nowadays. I’m not even sure if I know entirely.
My school doesn’t have a premed advisor, just one general “health” lady that sends out resources through an email chain. I am just so scared of going through the entire premed process and missing so many crucial steps or aspects to my application that would allow me to get in to any MD/DO school — anywhere.
Anyone else feel this lost and anxious?
submitted by throwherRA to premed [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 ravenfall20 Subtle, Awesome Halo Hoodie

submitted by ravenfall20 to Halo2 [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 boomyagent Tell me you are a Sao fan, without telling me you are a Sao fan, I’ll go first

Tell me you are a Sao fan, without telling me you are a Sao fan, I’ll go first submitted by boomyagent to swordartonline [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 xTehEliminator Boosted 0163 9402 6348

Boosted 0163 9402 6348 submitted by xTehEliminator to PokemonGoRaids [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 Dr_GIR Unity man accused of having inappropriate contact with 13-year-old

Unity man accused of having inappropriate contact with 13-year-old submitted by Dr_GIR to Triblive [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 PinguVsCaillou Who wins this trade? PPR

View Poll
submitted by PinguVsCaillou to Fantasy_Football [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 Spilleyy this is true

this is true submitted by Spilleyy to pokemonmemes [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 goforth1457 MPs vote unanimously in support of updated legislation to ban conversion therapy

submitted by goforth1457 to worldnews [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 Dr_GIR Pitt's Kenny Pickett ready to play after bout with flu

submitted by Dr_GIR to Triblive [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 HowardJDuck Josh Hawley: Supreme Court Challenge to 'Roe v. Wade' Could Fix 'Greatest Injustice in Our Lifetimes'

Josh Hawley: Supreme Court Challenge to 'Roe v. Wade' Could Fix 'Greatest Injustice in Our Lifetimes' submitted by HowardJDuck to BreitbartNews [link] [comments]


2021.12.01 18:05 HoleyProfit Long SPX 4514

I think we're at the low of day now.
Stop 4496
submitted by HoleyProfit to BeatTheBear [link] [comments]


http://comandart.ru