Feel Boring Compared to my Alters? TW - Sexuality

2021.11.30 15:00 SirBeastlingPro Feel Boring Compared to my Alters? TW - Sexuality

This is a vent and also I am in need of support.
Does anyone else feel boring compared to their alters? My alters say I am the host, but when my alters front, they feel a swirl of emotions and interests that I don't feel. They are hetero, gay, non-binary, all over the place. One loves the idea of drawing. Another loves writing to help people here on reddit and is thinking of starting a blog. He is head-over-heels for one of my other alters. They are in love and getting "married" this weekend. We are throwing a small ceremony in the headspace for it. I am a romance-indifferent aromantic sex-repulsed asexual cisgender male. I get a small memory of what being anything else feels like when I switch to the front, but the idea of doing what they feel (even romantically) is repulsive to me. I used to write exhaustively, but now it feels like work. I also feel like I lack emotion. I go through the day because it needs to be done, but most of my alters genuinely love the day. They love waking up. Love sleeping, too. They are excited and happy to see what the new day brings.
Our protector lives to help others. It used to be that he would just help the system, but since he's gotten use to fronting, he genuinely cares for everyone. I care little for people outside my social circle, and I don't think I feel love like normal. I am worried about being alone my whole life, but I feel indifferent about losing people because I never feel like I lose myself without them. I don't think I am a shell, because I can enter the headspace, but it takes energy while fronting, and I barely remember anything that happens in the inner world by my own experience when I am not fronting.
Our optimist (what he wants to be called), is the gay non-binary furry alter we all love. He age-slides, and he crushes on me. I can only think of it as wierd, because I can't feel romantically about anyone. I feel bad that I can't reciprocate, but he is starting to feel better about it. He dreams of some day falling for a guy and having a beautiful romance. He loves to cook, even though when he cooks it's a disaster and something always goes wrong. He sings and dance and genuinely does not care if we get into an embarassing situation.
What is wrong with me? Do other people feel this way?
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2021.11.30 15:00 manfredvonkoreander WDYWT - Teddy Fleece + Winter Tires = Ready for 🌧🌨🥶

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2021.11.30 15:00 jufoir797 Understanding Due Diligence Fees in NC

Hi all, first time home buyer here, trying to purchase in the Raleigh area (before you contact me, I already have a realtor)
My question today is about the way DD is credited. I understand it's paid up front when the contract is signed, and the buyer does not get it back for any reason, even if they back out because the inspection goes terribly, the buyer was hiding a major issue, etc. This is terrifying for me because I really don't have thousands of dollars to play around with. I'm looking to purchase around $250k, and even at that price point it seems like homes in the areas where I'm looking often need upwards of $10k DD to have any shot at winning an offer, but I digress. I understand that DD is credited towards the buyer at closing, but my question is about how it's credited.
My initial understanding was that it's counted directly towards the down payment, but from what my realtor was saying that doesn't seem to be the case. She said that it still counts toward the loan amount, but not the down payment. I was hoping someone could clarify. I tried to look this up but couldn't find anything that really broke it down, so rather than call up my lender about it I wanted to put it out here in case anyone else has a similar question.
So as an example, let's say you are buying a home for $250,000 and you give 4% in DD fees ($10,000), and you need to make a 5% down payment. Would the finances look like:
A. DD credited directly towards down payment: in this case, you have already paid $10,000 when you went under contract and only need to cover the difference between the 4% you've already paid and the 5% you've agreed to put toward the loan. 5% of $250,0000 is $12,500, so you would only owe an additional $2,500 towards the down payment at closing, i.e., $10,000 DD + $2,500 difference = $12,500 total needed to put down on the home.
B. DD credited towards home purchase price but not toward down payment directly: in this case, the $10,000 is subtracted from the loan amount, so essentially the price you are discussing with the bank is now $240,000 instead of $250,000. If you've agreed to put 5% toward the loan you would owe another 5% of $240,000, which is $12,000, i.e., $10,000 DD + $12,000 for down payment = $22,000 total needed.
My original understanding was (A), but unless I'm misunderstanding, my realtor says that it's (B). I believe her, it's just very disheartening because that would really cut into my safety net savings. I wanted to clear this up because a lot of sites that explain DD seem to say that it counts towards the down payment. Or maybe I misunderstood my realtor, which would be great news for my bank account haha
Thanks in advance!
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2021.11.30 15:00 M_i_c_K Wet's Go Wrandon...

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2021.11.30 15:00 secretfrogbaby Places to live in the US for early 20s recent college grad?

I graduated college this past June and moved back with my parents in my childhood home. I have been working from home / doing odd jobs and now I'm looking to move out because living at home isn't working for me at all. I live in a very small house with my parents, both of whom are home most of the time, so I have zero privacy or space to myself really. I also just don't really have friends here anymore and there's no job opportunities here for me that aren't dead ends. I feel so stagnant in this environment-- I can't live my life here.
I see a therapist who agrees that moving out is very necessary for me to move forward with my life, but I don't agree with the more financially oriented advice she has offered and think she's a little out of touch with what the renting market is like nowadays or what the job market is like. Hence me asking online.
I'm from California and conflicted about whether or not I want to stay here because of cost of living. I also think a new experience in a different US state might be good for me. I'd like to be in a youngecollege-y area though because I want to make friends. I've been thinking AZ/NM/TX/CO or Pacific Northwest but haven't looked too far into it honestly. I wouldn't know how to go about trying to find a roommate either if I need one as I'm not on social media much at the moment. I just would like some opinions on how to go about this, i.e suggestions on areas to live, finding roommates in an area where I don't know anyone, etc. I also worry about my lack of credit and rental history and I don't think my parents would cosign on an apartment for me if I do move out of state. I'm so clueless with all this and don't really know where to begin.
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2021.11.30 15:00 Fit-Carpenter3089 Ok how do I ask if they are trans.

Ok, I have no issue with trans people but I have no intentions of dating anyone other than biological/feminine women.
I saw a cute girl at Starbucks the other day we made lots of eye contact and smiled at eachother, she was wearing a face mask. I came back today to ask for her number, this was the first time we spoke (she was still wearing a face mask). She gave me her number but her voice seemed way too deep to be a biological woman.
My question is: how do I ask her if she is trans or not without possibly offending her. I want to know before we go on a date. I have a busy schedule and have no intention or time to go on a date with someone that is not compatible with me.
Thank you.
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English: star

  1. one of the innumerable luminous bodies seen in the heavens
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  3. a planet supposed to influence one's destiny
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Translations
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