2021.12.05 05:07 Dirmina Fishing or saving someone ? ...He'll wait a bit(e) ! :kappa:
|submitted by Dirmina to elderscrollsonline [link] [comments]|
2021.12.05 05:07 someguy8079 Giving Up
I'll be honest with you guys, I didn't know where to post this and just googled the premise, and this sub came up. I've been wondering if I have ADHD for months now, due to a real lot, and this is like the 5th time I've made a vent post and this sub came up. So, if you wouldn't mind the read, I'd love to hear your take and if maybe it would be worth getting tested. Thanks.
I have enough faith in myself to believe I’m in the right, but I think there’s always value in an outside take.
Essentially, I’m “giving up" on nearly everything I try, and I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t make me fee a bit guilty and lazy.
I was let go from my last “real” job at a golf course in early 2020. As a college student, and with the pandemic, I decided not to look for work. Mid-year I took up an online customer service job, but I was in bad shape mentally and not the most outgoing person, so I gave it up pretty fast. By the end of the year I needed cash, so I took up gigging (DoorDash, Grubhub, etc.) and did that until the snow came. By then I just wanted to relax, school was stressful and against my better judgment, I took unemployment. I lived on that until it ran out mid-year this year, and I didn’t extend it. A LOT of guilt came with that, but I can't change the past. I somehow managed to spend all of that money, because I just compulsory buy shit and that's another huge source of guilt. Anyway...
I started gigging again but work was much more scarce than the previous year. At the same time, I was working on myself (in retrospect, performing CBT on myself) and came to the conclusion that I needed to drop out of college my senior year (I’d been contemplating it since Sophomore year). Yes, I could have finished it out, but I came to realize that my major was just a hobby and nothing more, and I didn’t want to waste another year of my life/take on more stress. I’d rather keep my credits and apply them to another major down the line, instead of going through with a major I didn’t want (film, btw).
As I searched myself, I found that carpentry interested me, so after a month or so I found a guy willing to hire me with no experience. Now here’s when I really began to feel like I was giving up too easy. It was just some guy and his partner, not much of a company and I was their first employee. I was told we’d be doing mostly carpentry and trim work, but when I arrived it turns out that demo still needed to be done. On the 4th floor of an apartment building. As expected, I took on all the grunt work of sweeping and collecting the trash, doing some light demo where they trusted me to. I must’ve emptied 50 of those 32 gallon trash cans full of sheetrock. It sucked. By the end of the day, my hair was white and I was coughing up dust all night (even with a mask on). At one point the boss had me pulling nails from the wall, and by the end I was pulling up staples from the floor for about an hour. Mid-way through the day, I’m sweeping by wire and using it to collect a pile (not wanting to mess with their power tools). The boss sees me doing this and belittles me by saying ([name], you gotta lift the wire, buddy” in such a condescending tone it brought me right back to high school. I hadn’t felt so small in years. We worked 9 hours that day. I was beyond exhausted (and dirty).
The next morning, I texted him saying that it was too much and I wasn’t coming back. I never got paid for that day. That showed me enough of his character. Throughout the day he had made small remarks like the earlier one, but that one in particular got to me for some reason. It really was the way he said it, like he genuinely believed I was a damn fool. I felt it in my gut right after that I wasn't coming back. I was hired as an apprentice, not a slave. I didn’t learn anything but instead carried out the work they didn’t want to do. I was prepared for hard work, not to be completely used. But I always find myself taken advantage of.
I decided carpentry wasn’t for me, and moved on. I did bits of gigging here and there the next few months. Mostly I was trying to find peace within myself. I’ve been incredibly insecure and people-pleasing my whole life, and needed to just take some time to work on myself. I really didn’t know who I was- just some kid who pushed himself way too hard in school to impress people he didn’t like. I got tired of being weak and all that.
Last month I decided to look for work again, something simple to get me by while I continue to take time for myself. I decided on the UPS Personal Vehicle Driver position, a seasonal job that has you delivering packages from your own car. At $21 an hour and temporary, I was ecstatic. To put a few grand away in only a short months time would be fantastic. Well, I thought so, anyway.
After a week or so they scheduled me for a phone interview. They never called. So I rescheduled as I had seen a few posts online about this issue, and rescheduling worked for others. Still no call. I finally reached out myself and was interviewed on the spot (by a support technician?) and they told me I got the job and to expect an email with details.
Well, I never got that email (or even asked if I accepted the job, actually), and suddenly my location had changed on my profile. There was no building address, but I was due to start that Friday. The city was decently far from me (45 mins) and I was really hoping to work in my hometown as the ad stated. Not to mention, nobody had informed me of this change. On the Wednesday before, I checked the site and had some paperwork to fill out, but still no email. On Thursday I called again and the support person told me not to go in the next day as my background check had not passed. It had been about a week and a half, but what else could I do?
The following Wednesday I get a call from the same number- asking why I missed my orientation. I told them I had no address and someone from their line told me not to go. They asked for the person's name (as if I would remember?) and told me that my new first day was the next Monday, and I’d get an email with details (here we go again).
Luckily, I actually did. The location was unfortunately the same, but I was ready for my first day. When I arrived, there was someone else in the same boat- and we were promptly told that there was a disconnect between the support HR and local HR- we were actually supposed to be in a town another 45 minutes away. For some reason, I accepted this and went there. It was the correct location, though the front door was locked and I had to go in through a truck terminal to find an office. Once inside, I was greeted by two rude employees who demanded to know why I was bothering them. They set me up with paperwork (about union dues and all that, despite being a contractor and not in the union) and checked out my car- all good. They said I’d be getting a call and email from someone else (seriously?)- and again, I thankfully did. This time it was for training, which consisted of 2.5 hours worth of anything but that- simple safety and policy videos, not how to do the job. I got a call the next morning at 7am about coming in for my first day (???). When I called back, I was met with loud chatter, a loud “what???”, and then put on hold 4 times before the guy who initially called me answered- and then told me to expect a call tomorrow as he was busy. Groan.
Tomorrow morning came and I got a text- not a call- asking if I wanted to take a route almost 2 hours from my house. I ignored the text as it didn’t seem like it was for me (I had no training or anything). Hours later, another text comes from what I thought was an automated line asking me to come in to the branch I was at the first day- I agreed. The man from the phone the day before came out, shoved some papers in my face, asked me to sign one (my soul?) and told me to meet some guy at a location 45 minutes away. By this time I was ready to walk, but decided to hold out until I at least tried the job- maybe it wasn’t bad once I got going. I met the driver and told him I had no training or anything- he told me the basics, gave me a phone with the system, and sent me on my way.
Well, the actual job was the easiest fucking part of the process. I almost enjoyed it, except for how far and unfamiliar the route was. The driver assured me that I would likely get a route in my hometown, though, and was only covering for an absence today. It was pretty self-explanatory, so I didn't NEED training- but it would've been nice. And I got lucky that all went smoothly- had their been an issue, I would've been fucked. The roads were shit, windy, and confusing, half of the houses were missing numbers, but I got it done and I can’t complain about the job itself- like I said, I almost enjoyed it. I had one undeliverable package since the address was mis-labeled on UPS’s end, and one other task undone as it was a pick-up, and the driver told me that he’d take care of it.
I head back to the hub (as the driver told me to do, not my actual fucking bosses) and am met with an empty office. I call the number and am told to go to an OMV office- I see no such labeled place. I find a room with people in it, go in and ask- it’s the right place. A woman suddenly gets flustered asking why I have a package and where my phone is- I hand over the phone and the package, and before I can explain, start getting grilled. Why didn’t you deliver this? Why didn’t you finish all your tasks? Keep in mind, I don’t know these people and they don’t know me. They don’t know it’s my first day or anything. In fact I have no clue what department this is or what these people are doing here- half are dressed like drivers. Once they calm down, I explain and they take care of it- without showing me how to. By the end, some guy pulls me aside and lectures me on the importance of letting UPS know when I can’t deliver a package as it’s just as important as the ones that do get delivered- as if I tried to hide the non-delivery or something. Once they had their fun with me, I ask for a vest- that’s right, I never even got a vest or a badge, so I was this suspicious kid driving around an unfamiliar neighborhood slowly and delivering packages. The guy comes back with a generic yellow vest, not a UPS one, and I go home. Again, I felt so small, almost violated. Maybe mentally violated. Whatever that feeling is, I despise it with every fiber of my being. I’m beginning to love myself and I don’t need that shit, not anymore.
The next day I get the same text- asking me to come in for the same route. I decline and go back to sleep. The day passes.
This morning I receive no text- until about 10am, from some guy named “John” in a group chat asking 10 or so people if we want to work today. I don’t answer, but many do and ask where and when- the response is, verbatim, “Here at building at 10:30.” ?????? What building? Who the fuck are you? What route? It’s already like 10am? Am I expected to wait on a text each morning to let me know if I have work or not?
I ignore the text and carry on with my day.
Soon after, I get a text from the bot number (which periodically texts me things about safety and shit) using my name and asking if I want to come in today- it’s already maybe noon. I ignore it again- fuck this.
Then maybe an hour later, I receive this text:
“All, you're expected in on Monday and working every day, unless there are reasons that you are unavailable from now until Christmas unless there are circumstances we are aware of. Please confirm that you're working on Monday.”
I block the number, shut my phone, and enjoy the rest of my day. I’m done.
And that’s another job I gave up on, day 1. Well, day 45 at that point. I just feel like I have more respect for myself than to be treated and tossed around like that. I’m not bending over for these people. I don’t expect to be bowed to, but where’s basic human decency? Can I get some basic courtesy from any of these jobs or people? Or am I asking too much?
I worked in a sort-of retail job for a little over a year, and a warehouse job for half a year. Also the golf job for about a quarter of a year, but I had no intention of quitting when I was let go (damn you COVID)- but even there, they never let me know I was let go- I just never heard back. What’s with the lack of human decency? But anyway, having those jobs means at the least I know I can put in the work at shit jobs. I don’t expect a fantastic, perfect job at my age. But I do expect to not be demeaned and belittled. To be treated as incredibly expendable, to not be treated as a human. And I would expect anyone else to have the same respect for themselves. How can you take on this work? I’m so fortunate that I don’t need need it, I’m not desperate enough to accept this bullshit.
I should also mention that I got my first job at 17, working as an office assistant. It was a small lawn and garden place that, again, didn’t train me, and didn’t have much work for me. I was always asking what to do, and usually would get met with “clean” or “just be quiet for a bit.” Not long into it, I’m fired for “not doing enough”- which is bullshit when there isn’t work to do. They were hesitant to hire me since they had just hired someone else right before me, and I think they just didn’t need me and didn’t want to tell me. Whatever.
This turned into a real shitshow, but so do all of my posts. Look, the bottom line is this- after reading my of-course biased story, is it me? Am I giving up too easy, or am I just constantly pulling the short straws on jobs? Even at the warehouse job, the other employees (again, much older than me) were pretty unfriendly towards me, and I kept to myself. Not so much demeaning as these other jobs, but I did also feel small there. The only “decent” job I had was the customer service/retail one, which honestly wouldn’t have been so bad if the work wasn’t. It was the only job I had employees my age and felt kinda welcome. It has its moments of disrespect, but nothing compared to the rest. While I'm at it, I may as well mention that I don't have any friends and miss working with people my age. I really took that job for granted, but I think I was also only 17.
I don’t want to be that guy who puts in 5% and gets back nothing, wondering why. But at the same time, I feel justified in my decisions. Of course I didn’t handle them all the best. I could call UPS right now and probably straighten it out. But it’s really a principle thing for my since I don’t need the money. And I don’t really think I’m that uptight or picky- I just really think I was majorly disrespected and don’t need to take it.
But is this just how the world is? Will I ever be respected at this age? It doesn’t help that I look quite young, too (I’m 21 btw). But it seems that no matter where I go, I get backed into a corner and take the easy way out. I have no issue quitting things- I trust my gut instinct. But when I find it going off for nearly everything I do and try, well, I can’t help but question it. Again, I do trust myself and genuinely believe I’ve always been in the right on these decisions. I’m just as deserving as anyone else, why take shit?
I acknowledge that I could have done more and stood up for myself. But should I have to? Is the default for employers to just walk all over their employees?
I plan on starting my own business next year- I’m beyond frustrated with the job market. And seriously, I get it. I’m not opposed to hard work. I hate coming on here and essentially just making excuses. Like I said, the carpentry job and UPS job BY THEMSELVES were fine- I let the people around me ruin it, because, let’s face it, who you work with determines how the job is. I enjoy an honest days work. That’s why I want to start my own cleaning company- work on my terms, choosing who, where, when, etc. Fuck being pushed around and belittled, I have value as a fucking human being, and I’m tired of pretending my whole god-damn life like I don’t. I’m ranting now, but even my grandparents and such make me feel small. What is it about me? Is it because I don’t respect and value myself, because honestly I never got a chance to and am just learning how to now.
But I’d really like to hear from you now. How rude of an awakening am I in for out there in the world? The retail general-public experience I have was a spa day compared to how employers have treated me. So, put simply- is it me?
submitted by someguy8079 to NoStupidQuestions [link] [comments]
2021.12.05 05:07 El_Sensei_2008 Algo - polygon bridge: wen available and which tokens can be bridged? 🦩🦩🦩
2021.12.05 05:07 RuudJudbney Using a Mi TV.
I got a Mi smart TV a couple weeks ago with the plan to just plug in some external memory and watch what I have downloaded. My first obstacle came when I learned that the TV does not like MKV or AVI file. It will play them but with no sound. I tried looking in the Mi app for alternative store but without the ability to type in Chinese (as soon as I first got it I switched it to English) I can not find any sort of media player.
I spotted the "install from USB" function so I downloaded a bunch of different APKs, put them on a USB drive and tried to install. Many failed with an error message about "uncompatible device" the only one I got installed was GOM but this is clearly designed for touchscreen devices and although it was working it was unusable.
I am not very tech savvy, does anyone know what I should do? I could continue on as I have been doing, converting some files using VLC (but that often fails to convert) or connecting my laptop by a HDMI which is doable but messy.
submitted by RuudJudbney to chinalife [link] [comments]
2021.12.05 05:07 ContentForager2 Uncomfortable Truths: Neckbeard Edition (/r/justneckbeardthings)
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2021.12.05 05:07 Djswag50assasin Wut
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2021.12.05 05:07 bannishedfromreddit 13 inches long, 6 inches wide
2021.12.05 05:07 Derp_Erheren91 Michael Jackson - Bad
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2021.12.05 05:07 senti_bot_apigban My exam eligibility expires on December 7th
So I booked and failed the CKAD exam yesterday by 3 points (63/100).
After getting my free retake through the "myPortal" page, the expiry was moved on December 19th.
Is this a bug?
I'd schedule the retake past December 7 because I have work that day.
submitted by senti_bot_apigban to kubernetes [link] [comments]
2021.12.05 05:07 DroopzirSaur I might be reachin' too much but I feel like eren's founding titan face kind of looks like a bird. You can say that a lot of faces could look like that, but even then I feel like it's a nice coincidence.
2021.12.05 05:07 WarWolfGhost Contractor not been paid in a year
So I'm a contractor for this company that works for Microsoft. I make content for very popular video games and I get paid a percentage off of the sales of the downloadable content from said game.
I'm currently owed in excess of $300+ USD. The company I directly work for is based in the UK and the contract is based under UK law and I am a US Citizen.
Every single time I bring up my unpaid wages I am told "you will be paid tomorrow" or "I'll look into it" but this has gone on for months and months and it has finally been a year now and still haven't been paid.
What steps can I take to get paid?
submitted by WarWolfGhost to LegalAdviceUK [link] [comments]
2021.12.05 05:07 7PgMuda [NG] [Bl 60] [LtA] [Nightmare Church]
Trying to get the church pick for a playthrough but ludwig is being a pain, if anyone who is good at fighting him or knows how to do the new cannon glitch your help would be appreciated
Password will be LUDBOI ringing at the lantern
submitted by 7PgMuda to huntersbell [link] [comments]
2021.12.05 05:07 NevGuy lobster
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2021.12.05 05:07 Trojan_XII For those who want a dead stormtrooper in their picture :)
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2021.12.05 05:07 RTGac Children of the 80s, how was your Moonwalking ability?
2021.12.05 05:07 devilinthered UPSC + Regulatory Body exam prep
Do we have anyone preparing simultaneously for UPSC and the upcoming SEBI exam said to be scheduled for mid-February? If yes, would you want to study togethealign our preparations?
submitted by devilinthered to UPSC [link] [comments]
2021.12.05 05:07 inspectorvector Affordable help moving furniture within Oxford
Hey, I need to move in the next few months within Oxford and was wondering if anyone had a suggestion/experience with a not super expensive removal business for a few bits of furniture (sofa, shelves, TV, bed, desk, drawers)? I can't help lift due to disability so I'll probably need two people as there's a big sofa and I'm in a first floor flat. Smaller stuff my family will help move so it's just big items really. Thank you very much.
submitted by inspectorvector to oxford [link] [comments]
2021.12.05 05:07 pest_throwaw Oscillating between numbness and despair
I have been in and out of despair depending on mine circumstances. The intensity of workload has picked up on my job since holidays are close and we have a lot of work.
My back hurts and I take painkillers so I can work, God only knows what damage I am doing to my spine with this. It's hard work, physical labor in a warehouse, working with heavy packages.
Thing is I already took many sick leaves and they told me if I took another one I would get fired, if I had an alternative job I would leave, but with another looming lockdown and me not knowing the native language well enough, it's going to be a tough sell.
I wonder even if I do find a new job will I be in the same spot. This is a reoccurring theme in my life since I was 18, now I am in mine mid twenties. I don't have the drive to continue anymore.
Objectively there is no reason to do anything, I try to instill my mind with the notion that virtues are the only things you have, but I can't shake of the feeling that it's all an arbitrary abstraction. You know, is/ought distinction. I don't find a worthy why for life or virtues personally, maybe it's up to every individual to find what works.
Stoicism is one of the closer things that could work for me personally, but it's still not there. We are all amalgamation of our experiences and everyone's is different. A Buddhist monk could be happy meditating most of his life, most can not. I don't know if I could ever find a sustainable way to experience a sort of Eudemonia, as the same as one pedofile in England was found to have it's urges because of a brain tumor, maybe certain brain composition, experiences and neurochemistry have made it certain for me to be neurotic in everything.
I was certain that I was gonna go to Belgium and start the process of assisted dying, the logic was, I was going to try to get help since it's mandatory before you apply for assisted dying, if it fails I would get the option of supervised suicide and a way to make it less violent and painful than it needs to be.
But with the knowledge that I have not managed to change anything for the better in the last 7 years, as a matter of fact, it got worse. I know I am gonna do it myself, the time needed to get where I want to be is too much for me to endure. So I hope I just don't get any impulsive whish to do it so I can plan it out and give my family an illusion it was a sort of accident, I don't want them to blame themselves, this was and is my decision alone.
I wish I discovered Stoicism in my younger years, I think it would have made a difference, but now I am too far gone and fixed in my mindset to apply it.
I know I can't change reality, but I know I don't have to experience it.
submitted by pest_throwaw to Stoicism [link] [comments]
2021.12.05 05:07 AJ_Owens777 Can I get some help with my deck ? Arena 13 just can’t get a W with it anymore. I’ve been pushing w it for like 5 arenas. I show my cards too. Would Love help include how to use cards plz
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2021.12.05 05:07 accnum73 Cum and jerk tribs to her please kik accnum73. Be her first cumtrib
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2021.12.05 05:07 iamnotabot7890 The bridge of Freedom-class littoral combat ship USS Detroit (LCS-7) [1320x744]
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2021.12.05 05:07 bizzarehotshot If you could only take a photo of yourself once, when would it be?
2021.12.05 05:07 Comfortable-Grand-46 Tried 45 times but still no Eyes of Tomorrow...
2021.12.05 05:07 Ok_Cardiologist359 Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep: A Wonderlands One(PC Gameplay Part 1 )
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2021.12.05 05:07 Finn_Acorn Good
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